During this Holy Week - well really all through the church season of Lent - but especially during Holy Week, I like to review the Passion history, what Jesus had to go through during the very last week of His humiliated human life.
This history shows the true weight of my sins that I love to commit.
This doesn't sound like fun to most people, including myself, if I only have a short-sighted view. Most people want to cover up their mistakes, they want everyone to accept them for "who they are", and whatever they want to be...even if those choices have significant negative spiritual consequences. I'm guilty of this. I craft excellent excuses for bad behavior - lashing out in anger, belittling someone else's idea, getting depressed when things don't go according to plan, and the list is really endless.
I get beat down during Holy Week. What I think are only minor scrapes and bruises by forgetting about God while I'm at work or by picking on someone instead of encouraging them - these turn out to be thorns stabbed into my face and jagged shards of metal tearing into my back. My seemingly innocent flaws put me on the outs with God, put me in the danger of hell. When I think I am secure, then I see rightly that I have faltered.
I am also reminded of wounds I carry around with me. The habitual wounds that I think I need in order to survive in this world. The gash across my face that comes from thinking I'm better than other people. I need self-confidence, right? The wide-open artery of anger that is causing me to bleed to death. I need to get stuff done, right?
I get beat down during Holy Week...or rather I see my wounds rightly.
There aren't just 7 deadly sins. Every sin is lethal. How much poison will I try to swallow without dying?
I see my ugly wounds during Holy Week...I am appalled...and I find healing.
I see my sins for what they really are: thorns stabbed into my face and jagged shards of metal tearing into my back...but not my back.
I love Holy Week, for when I am weak, then I am strong.
Without knowing the depth and despair of my sin, I can't fully experience the joy of the resurrection.
Happy Easter!