Silly Dog

So our dog thinks she's entitled to have certain things or areas around our yard. She keeps trying to claim parts of our property for herself. I have to take them away or show dominance in those areas to teach her it's all mine. She would have access to everything if she didn't get possessive. We are choosing to love her, even through these trials, and she is becoming a good dog. When she loves us more than the things, she will have more than she wants. How sin turns us into brute animals.

Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. - Psalm 32:9

Psalm 32 is a good chapter for those of us who wrestle with sin just as King David did. This penitential Psalm was most likely written after his affair with Bathsheba, the mother of Solomon who was in the line of our Savior. We have everlasting forgiveness for all our sins. Why be controlled by sin any longer?

I don't want to be like our Silly Dog, trying to grab little insignificant portions of God's creation for myself. My loving God wants to bless me beyond my imagination, first and foremost spiritually. I want to receive the full blessing of my God, which he has in store for me, to use for His kingdom.

God, please help me understand my role as your servant. Humble me that I may work faithfully for you, and use all the bounty of creation that you have entrusted to me for your good purpose. Help me watch and pray, that I do not fall into temptation. Amen.

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart! - Psalm 32:10-11

Do what you were Made to Do

But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use? - Romans 9:20-21

My wife told me these words as a strong rebuke, and boy, did I need it. I was complaining, feeling dumb and worthless. Pitying our state and my hopeless financial situation. Then wham! Smack me over the head with God's word, and I have clarifying purpose.

I had spent $75 to have a repair man tell me how to turn on my furnace. I thought I was going to save big bucks, and finally get to take advantage of one of those warranties that always seem to work out great for other people. After some futzing around, we figured out I had it backward which thermostat controlled the natural gas heat and which thermostat controlled the wood burner heat. Great! Wasting God's money again...or so I thought.

It took me about 10 minutes to emotionally pull myself back together after realizing my mistake. The repair man gave me his sympathies, but also needed to collect the copay associated with the warranty service call. I took the opportunity to ask him some more questions about the wood burner system.

As he was processing my payment, he asked me how I liked the area. I initially just said, "Good. We like it out here." Then I had an overwhelming urge to add something about our church being right across the street. I didn't know if it really fit into the conversation, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. So at the Spirit's prompting, I said it. Well, it turned out that he had just gone to church for the first time in 10 years the previous Thursday. His daughter is in catechism classes and his wife had been on him to go to church. He also recounted his overseas experience as he worked diligently to provide for his family during hard economic times.

When he left, that's when the complaining started, and my wife had to step in. Then His purpose for me was clear.

When I got the confirmation email of my payment, I took the opportunity to encourage him in his faith life. This, is what I was called to do. Humbling, but I think it was worth the $75. God even uses my faults for His purpose. May God always use me as He sees fit.

I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings. -Luke 16:9

I know I've got a pessimistic Baruch side of me that I need to keep in check. God led me to Jeremiah 45 one morning shortly after the furnace warranty call. Through Jeremiah, God is proclaiming destruction on his faithless people. God is tearing down the kingdom of Judah, so he can eventually build it up again in His Name. Baruch is bemoaning how he is never going to get anywhere in this life. All hope of success is shattered. But God shows him tremendous mercy by protecting his life. I hope that this emboldened him to serve God more faithfully.

When Baruch son of Neriah wrote on a scroll the words Jeremiah the prophet dictated in the fourth year of Jehoiakim son of Josiah king of Judah, Jeremiah said this to Baruch: “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you, Baruch: You said, ‘Woe to me! The Lord has added sorrow to my pain; I am worn out with groaning and find no rest.’ But the Lord has told me to say to you, ‘This is what the Lord says: I will overthrow what I have built and uproot what I have planted, throughout the earth. Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life.’”

Should I seek great things? I am only a servant.
Through this rough world, please Lord, let me escape with my life. You are a God of great mercy for I deserve far worse. Please Lord, extend my stay on this earth that I may do my duty.

"So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’" -Luke 17:10

Goose Greed

So these geese have been landing in the corn field by our house for quite some time. I don't hunt geese, so it finally occurred to me to offer the hunting location to other hunters I know from church. Great intention.

One of my hunting friends got really excited, and said, "We totally have to do this." Well, I hadn't thought about me doing the hunting, but since I have goose hunted in the past, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

I decided to give it a go.

I got permission from the neighbor that weekend, and we started scheduling a time to hunt that worked for me and two friends. I was getting anxious, eyeing up those geese just sitting in the field. I was running calculations of how many I would have to shoot in order to offset the cost of the license (crazy expensive for some reason) and cost of ammunition (also not cheap). I was nervous that something would happen to screw up this awesome opportunity.

Then, it happened.

We scheduled a hunt for Sunday afternoon. That Saturday morning I woke up to gun shots.

What?! The neighbor didn't say anything about other goose hunters!

I threw on some clothes and walked quickly out to the back yard just in time to see the group of five guys fill their goose limit. I walked out to them, thinking, "What are they doing here? Do they have permission? Those are my geese! I can't believe this. I finally catch a break (a lot of worrying about if this was the right house to buy), and then it's taken away! Calm down. There is probably a good reason why they are here. I should be happy for them. There are lots of other geese out there. God can still bless me."

Well, they did have permission. They scouted the area, asked permission the Tuesday after I had asked, and they had their limit. They offered for me to hop in a blind right then, but I had procrastinated getting my licence until that afternoon (it took 45 minutes to get the licence and then at the end they overcharged me). We exchanged numbers in case we would want to coordinate a combined hunt. I told them when we were planning to get out, and they said they would be back Sunday morning. That wouldn't work for us, because we would want to go to church instead.

The Lord will provide, right? Yes...but not in the way that I want.

Sunday afternoon was a bust. We saw three smaller flocks, but none would get close enough.

I was quite distraught Sunday evening. I felt like throwing a tantrum. God said, "No." Why? So I could teach my children? Probably, but teach them what? I obviously still have to learn the lesson.

I ended up sharing my frustrations with my oldest daughter.

I could not get to sleep Sunday night, it was really bothering me. I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible and sat down at the computer. I hashed out a lot of stuff as you can see.

These are the highlights:

• Hunting should not be a priority for me. It never works to save us money, and this was my primary motivator.
• If I do hunt it will be to develop relationships with other guys, and I will be OK with getting nothing.
• I can't do everything. I first need to take care of what God has given me (family, housework, etc.).
• I already have tremendous blessings (my wife slept on the floor next to the computer because she wanted to support me, but didn't know how. Just her being there really meant a lot!)
• Always make time for God's word (I took this time to look up a question I had earlier in the week).

But the biggest one was:

• I did not begin this task with prayer!

I was reminded of Proverbs 16:25 "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." It was a no brainer for me to go shoot those geese, but it was for selfish gain, the essence of my sinful nature.

I had the wrong focus the whole time, even though I was telling myself all the right reasons in my head. My emotions tipped me off that something wasn't right. I needed to seek the truth. I needed to read God's word, and pray for His good will to be accomplished.

I did decide to hunt Tuesday morning with the guys, this time, for the right reasons. The night before, I found this on my pillow:

My daughter was looking at the situation from a more positive perspective.

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.

It's interesting that God lead us both to a verse in Proverbs 16. God is good.

We did get two geese on Tuesday, so we were able to praise God for prayers answered. He also blessed our fellowship together as we talked about our lives. It was a good day.

This past Sunday, the sermon was titled "Do you Really Want to be Rich?" based on Jesus' conversation with the rich young man in Mark 10. It was a really good sermon (as usual), but right as Pastor said, "What's really first?" I saw a flock of geese fly right passed the stained glass window directly behind Pastor.

Oh, God! Dagger to the heart! But it was good to be reminded again. I was trying to grab at too much, and not trusting Him to provide my daily bread. I keep trying to store up bread, invest bread, and do more to get more bread. Then it seems to mold in storage, dissolve in my hands, and be only a mirage.

Lord, please simply make me a willing servant, and grant me daily bread to sustain me.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Marriage Enrichment

How much do you spend on developing your children? School, sports, music, books, time.

How much do you spend developing your marriage?

In many ways, our marriage is the foundation of our children's lives.

My wife and I are sold on the annual Marriage Enrichment weekend that is offered through our synod of churches. We attended this event last year, and want to continue to attend every year. Taking a whole weekend and dedicating it to our relationship and our vow to God. The second day was really what sold us We had stopped thinking about preparing the kids and dropping them off; and we hadn't yet started thinking about packing up our stuff and children, and heading back home. We could focus on each other, clear up some lingering issues, and enjoy the company. The second day is also when you get to go out on a romantic date night. It always helps to throw some romance in there when you're working on your relationship.

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love - Ecclesiastes 9:9a

The information was very practical, and we've used it since. We weren't overloaded with information, and we were given time to practice right there.We attended the Simply Marriage retreat which included:

• overcoming frustration, 
• appreciating incompatibility, 
• breaking patterns that destroy oneness, 
• using words that work, and
• growing more intimate.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. - Ephesians 5:21

The fellowship of joining with married couples from a wide range of backgrounds was encouraging in itself. Marriage is great! And it was awesome to share this joy with others who could really relate. And yeah, the sex is great too. More married couples need to make this known. The single "free sex" life is promoted so much in our society. But being single is more often a self-indulgent drag that leaves you wondering if anyone really loves you. In marriage we are truly free to use God's gift of sex to the fullest. And it is AWESOME!

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. - Proverbs 18:22

I'm writing this now, because just last weekend our church hosted a Marriage Enrichment Day which used some of the same materials from the Simply Marriage retreat. Even though we had heard the material before, it was awesome. Katrina and I actually addressed new problems that had crept into our relationship in the past 8 months, go figure! And again, the fellowship of other married couples was fortifying as we worked through what God wants for us in our married lives. We had 25 couples attend in a church of around 250 members! I have great hope for the future of these marriages.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12b

God is doing some amazing things. Marriage enrichment opportunities seem to be popping up everywhere now. Maybe we finally realized that the ultimate defense of traditional marriage is making sure our marriage is what God intended it to be. Here are some of the marriage enrichment events that I have come across:

• Marriage Enrichment weekend (different weekends and different locations around the US)
• Three Strands (coming up soon Nov. 7th)
• Monthly Date Nights (St. Andrew in Middleton)
• Marriage Enrichment Day (Resurrection in Verona, and other WELS churches are recirculating the materials from the Marriage Enrichment weekends) 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”...and he brought her to the man. - Genesis 2:18, 22

Day of Remembrance

September 12th was the National Day of Remembrance for Aborted Children. Our family went to Resurrection Cemetery on Regent Street in Madison where there is a memorial to the unborn children lost to abortion. Perhaps a more moving ceremony would be at Holy Cross Cemetery in Milwaukee, the grave site of 1,286 aborted children. But I wanted to keep this private for our family, and meaningful for our children. We dressed for a funeral and prepped the kids. It's always so tough for me to explain abortion to our 5-year-old boys. They keep on asking what abortion means, like they must have misunderstood our previous explanations, like the explanation is so wrong that Dad and Mom must not be saying what I think they're saying.

I was at the public hearing for assembly bill 310, which would prevent Planned Parenthood from being the sole recipient for all of Wisconsin's Title X healthcare funding. I left shortly after a strongly opposed Democrat was offended that the word "kill" be used in conjunction with abortion. I wonder what her definition would be if she had to explain abortion to kindergartners.

My definition to the boys: Abortion is when a mommy doesn't want the child in her tummy, so she has her child killed.

And I need to quickly follow this up with, "This is wrong. It is against God's will, against the 5th Commandment, but our government lets women do this. This is why we help."

We opened with hymn 282 "Lord, Open Now My Heart to Hear" to prepare us to hear God's words to us.
We also sang hymn 378 "All Mankind Fell in Adam's Fall" to keep us humble, reminding us that we are all lost without Christ.

I then read the following passages with summaries:
Genesis 1:26-28 We are the crown of creation made in the image of God.
Psalm 93 God is eternal.
Ecclesiastes 3:11-17 We have eternal souls. We will also be judged for what we've done.
Exodus 20:13 God tells us not to kill another human being.
Deuteronomy 28: 11,18 Blesses and curses for God's people, Israel, which include your offspring. When society loses God's truth, our children are hurt in the worst ways.
Judges 13:7 Samson was set apart in his mother's womb. He was fulfilling God's purpose before birth.
Psalm 139:13-24 David knew God watched over him in the womb. He also asks God to search him and lead him to eternal life. My wife commented on what a great prayer for us to pray.
Job 10:8-12 Job also confesses how God formed him in the womb.
Psalm 127:3 Children are an awesome blessing.

Intermission: The kids noticed that the memorial had grass on it from the mower, so they took the time to clean off the memorial. We praised them for honoring these lost children by cleaning their memorial.

Since we know these truths of God, what are we to do?
Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up and defend their cause.
Matthew 7:12 Treat them like we would want to be treated.
Isaiah 1:13-20 with emphasis on verse 17 The Israelites were still going to church, but then they did whatever they wanted during the week. God was disgusted with their false worship, and just wanted them to live their faith.

There were several other questions the kids had has we read God's word. I don't remember all of it (some of you are thinking, "Good thing. This is a very boring post.")

Then we sang the following hymns:
401 "Your Works, Not Mine, O Christ"
431 "I Walk in Danger All the Way"
462 "Oh, that the Lord Would Guide My Ways"
477 "What is the World to Me"
We prayed hymn 522 "Grant Peace, We Pray, in Mercy, Lord"
And sang 579 "Lift High the Cross" to close.

It was good for our family. This is the world we live in. Why distract our children from reality? God calls each of us to work for His purpose. That includes our children.

May God bless your family.

What can I DO?!

I received this text from a friend of mine last week:

Hey Phil, how's life? Hope you're all well...I've been meaning to pick your brain about this Planned Parenthood exposing going on.
Mostly I'm tired of just commenting to or sharing other people's posts of outrage, or posting ones of my own, on social media. Spreading awareness like that feels empty. Do you have any thoughts about being more active about this? They're dissecting live babies, Phil! This is pissing me off and breaking my heart. These children need us to DO something for them.

This text ruined my safe little cocoon that I was weaving around myself to shut out the reality of the Planned Parenthood videos. I knew I would be sick if I saw them. I know enough about abortion already to be able to picture the horrific scenes that others have described. I tweeted a little and Google+ a couple articles. But now my friend woke me up to the opportunity I was missing to find passionate people that support life.

This is the email response I sent to my friend:

This is in response to your text: Do whatever you can, remembering God's promises to you. Don't distract yourself with things of less importance. Don't let the passion of injustice fade as is so easy to do in distracted America.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to go to counseling.

There is the pro-life egg challenge response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBlge4RvztM

More info at: http://www.holyhenhouse.com/

You can contact your representatives, asking to defund PP. I'll forward a separate email.

You can call WLFL and ask what they are doing right now to reach more women (you might want to specifically ask about the sticker shock campaign). 414-727-8176  

Or I have the power to put you on a committee right now. How many things do you want to do?

Your family can stand on the side of the road with a sign asking to take unwanted babies. The Life Chain is coming up on October 4th. http://www.nationallifechain.org/ http://www.milwaukeelifechain.org/

See what's going on...

Large Pro-life organizations:

Care Net

National Institute of Family and Life Advocates (NIFLA)

Heartbeat International

Personhood America

Wisc. Right to Life

Pro-life Events:

Life-a-Thon  (2 mi walk/ 5k run)

Evening for Life banquet

Soul Ride    (motorcycle ride)

Sanctity of Life Day

Wis. Right to Life Legislative Conference

Voting http://blog.wifamilyaction.com/ and http://www.nrlpac.org/endorse-states.htm

Life Chain http://www.milwaukeelifechain.org/

Then I forwarded him 3 emails:
1. from WLFL, calling for monthly donors.
2. from Wisconsin Family Action, urging contact with representatives to support pro-life bills.
3. from Time of Grace, showing that pain makes my sin uncomfortable.

I added a note of encouragement on the last email:
Pray that our society sees the pain that the sin of sexual immorality causes. Talk to your neighbors, and share the truth about God's word and the sanctity of human life. We have eternal souls! Most people don't know this! Go! Tell! (with gentleness and respect)

After sending these emails, I was pretty worked up myself. I was sick with grief and despair. I'm told exercise releases stress, so I took the elevator to the basement of my building and ran up the stairs to the penthouse level, all 9+ stories. Perhaps it was a bit too much stress for my body to relieve through exercise. My heart was racing in a way that was not good. My hands went a little cold. I know I shouldn't work my heart that much, but I just felt like DOING something.

I called my wife, but she didn't answer. I went down to the Employee Assistance Program director. She was out of the office, but I wondered how a secular liberal would handle a Christian grieving over the murder and dissection of unborn babies. I went to a fellow Christian co-worker, and asked if he wanted to take a walk (I didn't tell him I was in a cold sweat to pour out my soul to a fellow Christian). He was busy. I started back down the stairs, not really sure where I was going (I guess to take a walk).

At the 5th floor I almost broke down crying, and prayed, "Lord, God, help us! Please save them!" That felt good. God reminded me of his promise to work things out for good. He also said he punishes the children for the sins of the fathers (sin hurts future generations). I was also reminded that wicked people destroy each other. I made it outside, found a bench on the side of the road, and sat, and thought, and grieved silently.

Thankfully my wife called me back, and I was able to release a tide of frustration and sadness. She said something that really got to the heart of the matter. "You should pray that the supporters of abortion come to know Jesus as their savior." BAM! That's it! Share the good news. Anyone in God's word respects human life. Let Law and Gospel work in their hearts. Bring it back to them. Their incorrect views on life stem from an incorrect view of who God is, what he demands, and what he has done. Let our lives shine his truth into dark places.  

I hope you can find something in this smorgasbord of opportunities to relieve that gnawing drive to DO something. It is the Spirit of God calling you to action. See what's available, and let me know what other opportunities I missed.

But if you find yourself face to face with the opposite view, remember Law and Gospel for their soul. God will take care of the rest.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes. - Romans 1:16

Despair - Truth - Grace

I had a terrible dream last night. I was all alone, not physically, but emotionally. I was actually surrounded by a lot of people throughout the whole dream. I was trying to find a place to stay for my family. We were trying to get a hotel room, but there was a big event in the area that prevented us from getting one of the last six available rooms. One of my extended family members had gotten the last room so I had to sheepishly ask if we could stay with them. The dream then morphed into a pit of self-pity. 

We were in a large meeting area, a special ceremony was being held within our family. Each person was recognized and praised, but I was overlooked. People looked at me with disdain. They didn’t want to hear from me. I was reminded of all my failures of life, mainly relational (I am not good at conveying my thoughts in an un-argumentative fashion). I kept thinking, “Why are they hurting me so bad? How could I have ever hurt them this bad?”

I was reminded of my failures of performance. All the things I’ve tried, that didn’t pan out, that didn’t amount to much, that seemingly accomplished no good. I was reduced to a pouty child in the corner, playing with one of the gifts that was given to someone else. I was trying to figure out how it worked…really just trying to remove myself emotionally from the ego beat down. When a man came over and stopped me from playing with it, because I was being too loud. He stifled my cry for help, for some positive attention, and belittled me in the process. I felt like jumping out a window. “Maybe they’ll care then! When they see what they’ve lead me to do.” 

I awoke in this despair of heart like a weight on my chest, and a wall of tears held back before my eyes.

Why was I given this dream? Have I caused others to feel this way? At times, have I made my children feel like the child in the corner? I would never commit suicide…why was I compelled to jump? This is the Devil’s work! Accusing sinners of all their mistakes.

At this point I try to conclude my dream, to spin it in a positive light, trying to pull my emotions back from the dregs. With my conscious thoughts I prepared a speech to the people that had been so cold to me.

My first reaction is to condemn them and jump out the window…No, that will never do. I would be despairing and in the danger of hell, and the people that remained probably wouldn’t care. They would think the problem was resolved, the problem was removed. I realized that that option forgets that God still loves me, though the people around me and my thoughts lead me to doubt God could love me. It forgets that Christ saved me. It forgets that Christ saved them.

Their actions were not kind to me in the dream, but I recognized that I must have done something to offend each person. So my unlooked-for speech begins: “I’m sorry.” Then, I give apologies to each party that has specifically made a jab at me during the ceremony. “I know I am utterly hopeless on my own, but I still trust that God loves me, though your actions lead me to doubt this. I feel like jumping out a window, but God would not be happy with me taking my own life, and leaving you here. You can judge for yourselves if you have treated me fairly. If you have disciplined me with love, or if you have avoided me in scorn. If you have spoken rightly of me, or if you have conspired to mount accusations against me. God still has some use for me.”

Then, as I walk out of the hall, someone shouts, “No one cares!” with a half chuckle from the crowd.

I spin and shout, “May God hold you accountable for your words!”

(my subconscious kind of takes over here) 
At that, he begins to choke on something he was eating. My first instinct for a brief second is to let him die accursed. An enemy smote by God. But then I run over to him and give him the Heimlich. In dramatic fashion the room is hushed. 

I realize God has provided my perfect response to this accusing crowd: Love. They realized I am not trying to condemn them, but save them. I had saved the life of someone who I directly opposed, because my God compels me. I am not trying to use my words to tear down, but to bind up.

Maybe I need to work on better actions and less words.

With that insight I headed downstairs. I was still in a depressed mood from being beat down in my dream. I knew I needed to go to God’s word. 

Just an aside: I like to open up the bible and read the first section I see. I believe God is active in our lives, and nothing is by accident. I also know God’s word is living and active, sharper than any double edged sword. God uses events in my life and his word to surgically remove fear, doubt, and rebellion from my heart, mind, and soul. So I try not to let my own presumptions get in the way. 

This was feeling like more of a time to be in the New Testament, so I open more towards the back and landed in First Corinthians, chapter 15. God reminded me of the simple truth of the gospel. Christ saved me. Jesus lived; Jesus died; Jesus rose. Paul, arguably the most powerful tool used to spread God’s word after Christ, almost laments even being called an apostle because of his unworthy nature. The passage that really hit me, and obliterated my despair was verse 10. 

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.”

Thank you LORD! 
Please equip me for your service. Heart, mind, and soul. Completely. Amen.