A Whack on the Thumb...again

"Ow! I cannot believe this! Ow! God, you got to be kidding! Again!"

I smacked my thumb on the top of a pallet fence as I was throwing a shovel full of goat manure over...and I had previously hit this thumb with a hammer, cracking the nail in half perpendicular to my thumb.

I keep hitting this thumb, and it hurts. I'm not one for yelling when in pain, but I'm starting to develop this bad habit with this thumb. The nail is broken half way down, so it's going to be a while before it grows out and is well protected again. Thinking about it now, I can't imagine how many times I'm going to hit it again, but in the moment, I never expect to hit it again.

I wonder if God feels the same way. 

Does He  think, "OK, I've lined everything up. I'm taking care of him. There is no way he's going to fall into sin now...OH MAN! OW! You got to be kidding me! Again! Ow! I can't believe how much this hurts! It's not supposed to be like this!"

I know Christ has taken away all of our sins for all time, and the Father can now look down on us with love as he sees a bunch of perfect children...but what about willful sins? What about the ones that we forcefully shove God out of our lives so we can do what we want right now? Isn't that unbelief? Isn't that throwing down the bright white cloak of Christ's righteousness and wallowing in the mud right in front of an ever-present God of justice? 

What does that feel like for God?

We get a little picture of what it feels like in the crucifixion of Jesus. How many of us would vomit at the sight of such a brutal torture? Sin hurts, sin kills.

But then we repeat the offense...again...again...again. I know the frustration that can occur when a spouse keeps offending in the same way over and over again. It doesn't take long for our human patience to run out. Can we even overlook one offense without blowing up, making a snide comment, or a sarcastic joke? 

God must be a glutton for punishment (please excuse the use of this coarse phraseology). Why does he stand there? - in sight of our offenses, in view of our cheating on him, right next to us while we spit on him, bend over while we scourge him, kneel while we strike him in the face, spread his arms while we pound nails through his hands, stand on a nail through his feet while we mock his power...his power that he willingly gives up...so that we can be part of his family, eat at his table, share in the inheritance, come back to life, be immortal, be free.

I guess thinking about it more, God wouldn't yell in outburst at our sins. The scriptures never mention Jesus yelling...except maybe when clearing the temple. Maybe there are two scenarios...

For his elected chosen children who are also weak fleshly creatures who find themselves astray and humbly crawl back to their Father just hoping for a slaves quarters - he patiently endures your offending, cheating, spitting, scourging, beating, killing - so that you may come to the realization of the truth and be saved.

For those hard hearted willfull sinners of pride who trade the righteousness of God for disgusting filthy rags of this physical world - God please never let me be this person, and may I never meet one. The wrath of God is reserved for these. May I see only pre-believers, not unbelievers. Please, send me to the lost, the confused, the mislead, and the broken, so I can be so privileged to see you find, correct, lead, and heal. 

Daily Grace

I have these passages saved in a word document named "Daily Grace" on my desktop at work. I made this document when I was going through some struggles, reviewed it daily for a while, then faded to times of emergency reminders. I'm going to try to read it more often, because I never get sick of reading it. God's grace is refreshing and freeing. I try to do too many things on my own. I try to change by my own power, which is no real power at all. Here is the real power; the power of the gospel, and God's promises. Here I am free to live a new life. I will not be ashamed of the gospel. Read and be strengthened by the same Spirit that strengthens me.

Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day.
Psalm 96:2

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us...
Psalm 103:12

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Romans 8:1

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38,39

 “For I will forgive their wickedness, and will remember their sins no more.”
Jeremiah 31:34b

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:11b

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:16-21

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
1 Peter 2:9-10

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:4-10
 
For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.
Hosea 6:6

Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19:30

Consider making a "Daily Grace" reminder of your favorite grace passages. God wrote these for you.

BIG Exception

So as I was driving to work, wrestling with thoughts about the ticket, one of my excuses was, “Why can’t I have an exception to the rule? It wasn’t a big deal. I deserve to have a spot to park.”

But God answered, “I’ve already given you a big exception, the biggest exception there is! Do you really want more?”

Ouch. That’s a nagging thought that prods the ungrateful redeemed sinner. So I was lead to confess my sin, I was made willing to receive the consequence of my action, and accept the Lord’s rebuke. But at the same time, and with the same conviction, I felt compelled to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness from God surely came as soon as I confessed my sin and humbled myself before Him, but I also felt compelled to ask for earthly forgiveness.

Here's an aside: That morning, before I got the ticket, I woke up unusually early, 5:33 am. And I woke with the thought, “I need to move the car! Before 6, and then it should be fine.” But I didn’t run right out and move it. No, that would be too rash. It’s not that important. I decided to get ready for work first, and just leave for work before 6. Well, I should know by now that I can’t get out of the apartment that fast. I got to the car at 6:15, and the time on the ticket was 6:00 exactly. I could NOT believe it! I also couldn’t help, but think that God had woken me that morning, told me to move the car, and I hesitated. Foolish. 

Back to the original timeline, I’m driving to work, feeling the need to ask for forgiveness.

I call the apartment office. I know it’s closed right now, but if I didn’t do it now, it might not get done. I’ve hesitated once already this morning and that didn’t work out too well. So I leave a message asking to speak with the person in charge of parking. I work, attend a meeting, work some more, then, late morning, I get the returning phone call. It’s the property manager (not the same name that was on the ticket). I explain what happened and asked to speak with the parking person. He kind of brushed off the request and asked some more questions to clarify the situation. I told him some more background to the story, and he responded, “Yeah. We really don’t want anyone parking in those spaces at any time without a handicapped permit.”

I was silent. I had no excuse for my actions. No defensive statement. God had washed all that away. I was guilty, deserved the ticket, and I was ready to receive it.

He continued after a brief pause, “You can bring the ticket into the office, and I will write a letter to the police department and tell them to ignore the ticket request.”

What? Did I just hear him correctly?  I’m not going to get a ticket? I quickly gather my thoughts as best I can, and tell him I’ll be there sometime today to get him the ticket, and all else I can think to say is a heartfelt, “Thank you!”

Wow! Our God is good!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”–1 John 1:9 

Would my ticket have been cancelled if I had not repented? I don’t think so. Because the Lord loves me, and if I did not repent, then He would bring the full measure of consequences on me, so that I would eventually turn towards him to be saved.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”– Hebrews 12:11

I am blessed. When we learn the true depth of our despair in our reckless sin, only then, can God show us his boundless love and mercy. To reduce our sin is to reduce Jesus’ work. How great is our God and how awesome are His ways! Humble yourselves before the Lord.

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.”– Psalm 149:4

Optimism or Realism

Aren't we all realists? It just depends on our view of reality. Some are right and some are wrong. “Optimist” and “Pessimist” are labels we usually assign to others that we are comparing to ourselves, and we use our “realism” as the measuring stick. Even if you think of yourself as a positive person, you don't go beyond your view of reality.

I've read a lot of authors who say, “Be optimistic and you will be successful!” I've found that when I try to be optimistic, I lie to myself. I seem to be trying to believe something that isn't realistic, and therefore untrue, all because I want it to be different. Sometimes this forced optimism is motivated by an improved perception of myself, sometimes motivated by a desire for success, sometimes motivated by my desire to be more Christ-like. But I find myself struggling against “reality.” I’m trying to believe a lie. I’m trying to force a more positive view of the real world. Even if I exercise my creative powers to come up with positive comments to say and compliments to give, I find my mind whispering “Yeah, but…” 

Other books have told me, “Feed the positive voice and drown out the negative voice.” Basically change your subconscious programming, but when I try to rewrite my own view of the world, I lose a little bit of myself and become someone else that I have made up in my mind. I know it’s not me, because I can analyze both people. If I set up an ideal person or image that I want to change myself into, it leads to lots of frustration. First, I’m trying to be something I know I currently am not. Second, I will never flawlessly follow my ideal image (nobody is perfect). So now I've got low self-esteem because I want success, so I try to be the ideal optimist, and I fail to either follow my ideal or I feel fake when dealing with other people. So what’s the answer? 

I want success => I try to be optimistic => I don’t believe myself => I feel fake, and falter => I motivate myself, because I want success => ???

The books say, “You've got to love the process.” Love the process? Like an abused woman staying with her abusive man? The books say, “Hold a dream close in mind.” Hold the carrot in front of the mule. Do the painful work to get what you want. Of course we don’t know what something is truly like until we get it. There may be extreme disappointment if you have sacrificed your blood, sweat, and tears for something of little lasting worth. The dream is whatever you want. It might be good, but it usually isn't. I always want laziness and selfishness. You say, “Well, of course those aren't good. You have to dream of good things.” But you would be surprised how many things fit into these categories. What’s your motive? Don’t be so sure. 

Even a motivation to be more Christ-like can be walking down the path of Pharisees. A moralistic self-righteousness appears in us, putting ourselves on a pedestal and looking down at others who don’t follow the rules like we do. The real motivation is to pat ourselves on the back and say to God, “Don’t worry, I got this whole sanctification thing. I’ll take it from here.” Foolishness.

The only real answer is to find true reality. When you find true reality you don’t have to try to be something different than who you are. You just change naturally to align yourself with reality. It doesn't make sense to oppose reality. You just find yourself running in circles.

Welcome to reality. Not my reality, true reality, revealed only through God’s word.

We are not perfect. None of us. You may have guessed this one already.

God demands perfection. We cannot enter God’s presence with even one wrong thought. We die because we are not perfect.

God sent his son to be perfection for us. Jesus suffered hell on earth so we could spend an eternity in heaven.

We believe in Jesus as our savior through faith, which is given to us by God, the Holy Spirit. We cannot approach God on our own, because of our imperfection, so God comes to us, calling each one of us to repentance. We confess that Jesus is Lord by the power of the Holy Spirit. Now God says to us, “I have bought you back from death. I have set you apart. I give you my power, my knowledge, my love. You follow my will. You are my child.” Notice that He does not say, “Now you can try to follow my will. You can try to be my child if you do everything right. I can set you apart if you are good enough. You should do everything I ask you to do.” We will do it, because the work is done. We are confident in Gods’ love and mercy not because we always ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” but because we always ask ourselves, “What has Jesus done?” We remind ourselves daily that “It is finished.” and we are God’s children. He is our Father. We ARE different, because that is how He made us. Be free to be yourself, God’s redeemed child. We pray to God and read His word that He has given to us. This communication is the focal point of our relationship.

God constantly watches out for his children. He gives us exactly what we need. He gives us many blessings we can’t possibly count. He gives us opportunities to show love to others. He gives us suffering when we need our faith strengthened or when others need to see our strong faith. Everything is for our benefit. He promises to bless us whichever direction we chose to travel. It will all be for our good, even if it looks like a u-turn. Trust him.
That’s reality. 

Be a realist.

I am a success through Jesus => I trust God’s plan for me => I believe God works for my good => I am motivated by God’s love and mercy to be different

Self-esteem Booster

I am a constant screw up. God knows that. He chose me anyway. I have value, because He values me. I do not have to be ashamed of my failures, because God chose me. He loves; He forgives; He heals me. God does not change. I am not good at many things. God knows that. He chose me anyway. I am not successful. Jesus was successful. I am where God has placed me, and I am going where God leads me. And if I go the wrong way, God will make it all come together. And if I will never have worldly success, I will be content with that. I will struggle on to win the prize, to further His kingdom, to help my neighbors, to love my wife and children, to be His. Because He chose me anyway.