Self-esteem Booster

I am a constant screw up. God knows that. He chose me anyway. I have value, because He values me. I do not have to be ashamed of my failures, because God chose me. He loves; He forgives; He heals me. God does not change. I am not good at many things. God knows that. He chose me anyway. I am not successful. Jesus was successful. I am where God has placed me, and I am going where God leads me. And if I go the wrong way, God will make it all come together. And if I will never have worldly success, I will be content with that. I will struggle on to win the prize, to further His kingdom, to help my neighbors, to love my wife and children, to be His. Because He chose me anyway.

Murderers

I had a dream last night, but I’m not sure what exactly it was about. I do remember getting up to write down my dream, because I thought it was a great topic for my next post. I saw that it was only 2:54 am, so I decided to go back to sleep, figuring, “This was so perfect, so memorable, I will definitely remember this later. I can write it down then, and work on it later.” Foolish. God gives us impulses for a reason. He knows my memory is unreliable.

But, in His mercy, He has helped me remember the main theme…

I was in prison, surrounded by criminals, murderers. But I didn't feel fear. I felt like I also belonged there, with them.

This past Wednesday we had an issue in our house. No, that’s not any different than any other day. But this Wednesday our 4-year-old boys were telling my wife that they hated her, which was tearing her apart. She was holding it together on the outside, being loving, but still sticking with the discipline that was required at that time. She left me a voice mail asking for help. I was at work, no way to assert my dominant fatherly influence to protect my wife. I assured her that the boys didn't know what they were saying. (I was also considering monitoring more closely who they play with.) But how could I fix this?

The verse used in my daily devotion that day was Deuteronomy 11:18-19.
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

I quickly compiled the following verses and sent them to my wife so she could use them to teach the boys (and girls):

Proverbs 12:1, Proverbs 13:24, 1 John 3:15, Matthew 5:22, Psalm 34:13, Psalm 120:2-4, Proverbs 21:23, 1 John 4:7-21, Matthew 13:42, Matthew 24:51, Matthew 22:13, Luke 13:28, James 3:10

Guess what? God’s word worked!

The boys stopped verbally abusing my wife. I reviewed with the boys that night what they had learned today. The first response we got was, “Killing someone is the same as murder.“ Closely followed by, “Don’t be stupid.” Of course they remembered the passage that says the word “stupid.” Anyway, they did learn not to hate people (or even say that you do), because God created us to love all people. I guess the passage that really got me, and it was the first one that came into my head, was First John 3:15.

Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.

We are all murderers. We all do wrong, and whoever stumbles at one point, is guilty of breaking all of God’s law. God demands perfection, and we don’t have it. From my pastor to the imprisoned criminal, we all have the same problem. We are murderers.

But why am I so happy? Why did I wake up from my dream with good news to tell? Because God’s grace is HUGE! I realized in my dream that I was a murderer, but Murderer was not my label. That’s not who I am now. I am above it. I am free to leave the prison. I am declared “not guilty.” I am free. God is glad to see me. He even meets me in prison, and leads me out. He welcomes me, even celebrates me. He takes me from death row and gives me life in the name of His son, my brother, Jesus.

I look back, think back to the other prisoners. Do they know? Do they know God has forgiven them? Do they know they don’t have to pay for what they've done? Do they know that I was the same as them? Do they know that God is begging for them to come out of their self-made prisons? Do they know they don’t have to be there?

That’s why I woke up happy. That’s why I am here. To share what God has done in my life. To share the good news of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection for my sins, for your sins, for their sins. There are no exclusions. There are no requirements. There is peace.

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” -Romans 10

Submission

“What a wretched man I am!”

                   – The Apostle Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus

I want to be great, but find myself struggling to hit average. I feel on top of the world, and then fall headlong , face first, in the dust. I can’t get up, paralyzed, bleeding, broken. My Father comes near to pick me up, heal my wounds, dust me off, clean me up, and send me on my way again. I walk slow at first, watching my steps. Then looking around to see if anyone saw me fall. My wife saw me. I want to prove I can make it…on my own…but that’s clearly not the case. My Father has picked me up many times. That’s reality. That’s the truth. I dishonor my Father by not sharing that truth. It hurts that I can’t accomplish vast success. What is success? Is my worldview wrong?

I keep hearing my Father whisper, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Is this all I need? Aren’t I supposed to do something great?

“My power is made perfect in weakness.”

But I can’t do anything good!

“No one does good, not even one.”

I’m worthless?…I want to be great!

“All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall…”

What then is left for me?

“…the word of the Lord endures forever.”

Then, what can I say? What can I do?

“Proclaim what the Lord has done.”

That’s it? That’s it? What about my name? I am ashamed of the time you have had to pick me up. I look like a fool, a jerk, a coward. What about being a prophet, a martyr, a saint, a pastor, an author, a generous donor, a…

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much”

How little? Less than I have now? How can I manage on less? What do I have to give up?

“Everything”

Everything? It hurts. I don’t want to let go. I like these things, these habits, these desires. I desire so much, and accomplish so little.

“You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

No, I wouldn’t.

“You boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

Act on every good thought? Follow every rule I know? But what if it doesn’t make sense? What if the law is wrong? What if it makes me lose? Should I follow you to my destruction?

“I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.”

Can I trust you?

“Be still, and know that I am God. I am who I am. I am the same yesterday and today and forever. I am the Lord, who makes you holy. I am the Lord your God. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the Almighty. I am the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. I am the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, but I have made you alive in Christ. I have saved you. I live in you by the Spirit. I am the cornerstone, your firm foundation. You can do all things through me who gives you strength. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Forgive me Lord. 

                                Help me overcome my unbelief! 

                                                                                          Your servant is listening.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

References:

Romans 7:24

2 Corinthians 12:9

Psalm 14:3

1 Peter 1:23

Psalm 118:17

Luke 16:10

James 4: 2-3, 16-17

Jeremiah 29:11

Psalm 46:10

Exodus and others you should find

Psalm 51:10

Revamp

So...I noticed most of my posts stem from my life in Christ and my attempt to follow his lead. Nothing else seems important enough to justify the horrendous effort of writing a post. Making time to sit down at the computer, type out my thoughts, editing, editing, and editing...I could be living my life! I've got so much to do! But I also know the value of tracking where I've been, so I press on.

However, I do think a revamp is required on this blogger journey. I need a new title and mission to better reflect my intent and purpose. I want to live my life, but also reflect on key decisions and lessons learned. I want to focus on the bigger picture, God's picture. He has worked amazing grace in my life, and He is calling me to share it as He unfolds more and more of His master plan for my life. He does this for each one of us, and I pray that you will see God's good grace in your own life.

I will try to do more writing and less stressing about the editing. I'm not the best writer, but it's not about being perfect. God knows I'm not perfect, and I think it's awesome to see what a perfect God accomplishes with imperfect people.

Well..we'll see where this goes...

Ethics Course Evaluation

I took an ethics course through a major university and I was asked to fill out a survey about the course. Below are a few of my answers.

Most liked: Making a decision based on the possible negative perceptions of external parties.

Least liked: Distinguishing the origin and place of Professional Ethics.

Improvement: Don't let atheist religion dominate the ethics discussion. It seems a blatant contradiction to assert that there is no higher authority than humankind, and then to assert that society has placed these obligations of ethical behavior upon us. If humankind is the final authority, then no other human has the right to restrain my actions, declaring some “ethical” and some “unethical.” Our society uses the benefit of the assumption of God, but denies Him credit for establishing absolute principles. If this course is to properly explore the source of Professional Ethics, God must be referenced at some point, or risk appearing very bias in your worldview.

That's all for my survey answers. I don't know if they will change anything. God makes people uncomfortable because we are naturally opposed to him. But yielding to God and His word gives us perfect freedom, which is exactly what we want in the first place.

I can't help thinking about Proverbs 9:10, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." We humans are constantly trying to see the big picture with our limited view. We learn as best we can with the time we are given, but we will never see the whole picture. I leave that up to God. I trust what He says in His word (on a good day). I still have the same natural inclination as you, to trust in myself. But by God's grace, we can be the smartest people in the world by remembering we aren't God.

2014 Life-A-Thon

Running to save lives! There is a walking option too, no training required. :) Check out my page to get event details, to learn more about WLFL , and to find out what you can do to help.

Les Misérables - Grace over Law

This past weekend I watched the movie Les Misérables (2012 version). Also known as Les Mis for short (and for people who don't quite know how to pronounce French). This musical movie is based on the book, Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo, first published in 1862. I have to admit that I have not read the book. I have been looking for shortcuts to pare down my reading list.

What struck me most was the dichotomy of Law and Grace. Inspector Javert represents the destructive power of law while ex-convict Jean Valjean represents the restorative power of grace. Not one of us can hold up under the law. Even Javert was guilty at one point of breaking the law. Where would we be if we had only the law? Condemned until death. The law antagonizes us to fight back and break the law more. We each invariably break the law in some trivial way (i.e. speeding, littering, pushing on the playground). If we are only given the cold law, we push back with our justifications of our actions. We feel we don't deserve punishment. And when we feel we don't deserve punishment, we feel compelled to make our own law in which we are judge, and we can gain some sort of retribution for the "unjust" punishment administered by The Law.

But if there is a just Judge over all people who sees all offenses to The Law, then all people are held accountable to The Law and cannot escape, even if they create a fantasy world of their own law. What can save us from this world of law? Only grace. Don't get me wrong; the broken must be fixed; the offenses must be paid for, but not by us because we cannot. We are naturally opposed to The Law, wanting to do things our own way at the expense of others. But our offenses were paid by Jesus and His hyper-grace. He covers us completely. Through His grace we empower others to live by grace. We are all in the same boat-load of trouble, and we can only make it out through the same gift of grace. There is no life with The Law, and there is no death with The Grace. Thanks be to God!

Jean Valjean is truly a story of the transformation from sinner to saint. God works through him to accomplish much good, even though he is still an imperfect man who makes unknowing mistakes. He rescues a man from being crushed to death, gives to the poor, redeems Cosette, saves Marius from death, and shows mercy to his enemy, Javert. I echo Jean Valjean's own words as he contemplates what kind of a man he will be, "Who am I? Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean!"

Grace...

Over...

Law.