BIG Exception

So as I was driving to work, wrestling with thoughts about the ticket, one of my excuses was, “Why can’t I have an exception to the rule? It wasn’t a big deal. I deserve to have a spot to park.”

But God answered, “I’ve already given you a big exception, the biggest exception there is! Do you really want more?”

Ouch. That’s a nagging thought that prods the ungrateful redeemed sinner. So I was lead to confess my sin, I was made willing to receive the consequence of my action, and accept the Lord’s rebuke. But at the same time, and with the same conviction, I felt compelled to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness from God surely came as soon as I confessed my sin and humbled myself before Him, but I also felt compelled to ask for earthly forgiveness.

Here's an aside: That morning, before I got the ticket, I woke up unusually early, 5:33 am. And I woke with the thought, “I need to move the car! Before 6, and then it should be fine.” But I didn’t run right out and move it. No, that would be too rash. It’s not that important. I decided to get ready for work first, and just leave for work before 6. Well, I should know by now that I can’t get out of the apartment that fast. I got to the car at 6:15, and the time on the ticket was 6:00 exactly. I could NOT believe it! I also couldn’t help, but think that God had woken me that morning, told me to move the car, and I hesitated. Foolish. 

Back to the original timeline, I’m driving to work, feeling the need to ask for forgiveness.

I call the apartment office. I know it’s closed right now, but if I didn’t do it now, it might not get done. I’ve hesitated once already this morning and that didn’t work out too well. So I leave a message asking to speak with the person in charge of parking. I work, attend a meeting, work some more, then, late morning, I get the returning phone call. It’s the property manager (not the same name that was on the ticket). I explain what happened and asked to speak with the parking person. He kind of brushed off the request and asked some more questions to clarify the situation. I told him some more background to the story, and he responded, “Yeah. We really don’t want anyone parking in those spaces at any time without a handicapped permit.”

I was silent. I had no excuse for my actions. No defensive statement. God had washed all that away. I was guilty, deserved the ticket, and I was ready to receive it.

He continued after a brief pause, “You can bring the ticket into the office, and I will write a letter to the police department and tell them to ignore the ticket request.”

What? Did I just hear him correctly?  I’m not going to get a ticket? I quickly gather my thoughts as best I can, and tell him I’ll be there sometime today to get him the ticket, and all else I can think to say is a heartfelt, “Thank you!”

Wow! Our God is good!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”–1 John 1:9 

Would my ticket have been cancelled if I had not repented? I don’t think so. Because the Lord loves me, and if I did not repent, then He would bring the full measure of consequences on me, so that I would eventually turn towards him to be saved.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”– Hebrews 12:11

I am blessed. When we learn the true depth of our despair in our reckless sin, only then, can God show us his boundless love and mercy. To reduce our sin is to reduce Jesus’ work. How great is our God and how awesome are His ways! Humble yourselves before the Lord.

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.”– Psalm 149:4

Really Dad!?

So says the rebellious teenager,

“I can’t believe I would get in trouble for this. The rule is stupid! I was only parked there for six hours, and there is never any parking at the apartment complex, which has NO assigned spots. We got back late last night, and I was frustrated with all the gas stations that turn off their pumps at midnight. I have a credit card, why turn the pumps off? We had stuff to carry into the apartment, and I knew I was going to leave early in the morning…there’s never anyone parked in that handicap spot. This is ridiculous! The one time…really Dad!?”

That’s exactly what I felt like…a teenager. Perhaps teenager in faith. In reality, these thoughts and words were thought and said by a 29-year-old father of 4 young children who happened to get a rare night out with his wife to a wedding (that’s about the extent of the special event budget).

What am I supposed to learn? Why do I always have to follow someone else’s rules? Especially when they are ridiculous to me. Why do I think I’m right? Why does it feel like everyone gets a shot at me, and I just have to take it…or pay it? How do all these other people afford these houses? Is their credit maxed? Why does the government take money when I get paid, when I pay, when I invest, when I start a business, when I sleep, when I eat, when I serve, when I park, when I ride my bike, when I want to help someone out, when I hunt, when I “own” property? Why can’t I provide for my family? What’s wrong with me? Why do I always want an exception? Why do I always want a short cut? Why do I always get caught?

"The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in" Proverbs 3:12

I got to work after a long road of wrestling with my thoughts, asking God questions, and getting back answers I didn’t like. I took the stairs to the sixth floor and as I am huffing and puffing, a coworker happened to strike up a conversation with me. Usually I just say everything is fine, but I took the opportunity to lay out my frustrations. He sympathized with me. Afterward, walking to my desk, I felt lighter. Why don’t I talk to other people more? God blesses me through other people. I don’t have to have it all together. Sometimes I can just let out what I’m dealing with, and they can see my life, and they can see that my only hope is God. That’s who I am, God’s child. Trying to grow up. Rebellious at times, but I know the heart of my Father. He is good. I know this because He has shown his boundless love to me in more ways than I can remember and in depths that I can only share with close friends.

Yes Father, I’m listening. I’m sorry. It hurts, but you’re right. Rules protect all of us. It is selfish to expect exceptions. Respect those in authority. By following, you will lead. People will be able to trust you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Peter 5:8

It Doesn't Matter…

There is a lot of depression in American society. There is a lot of medicated diseases and disorders. There is a lot of indulgence in entertainment to drown out reality. There is a lot of drinking, drugs (prescription or not), and sex. There is a lot of hurt people hurting people, grasping at something new, something deeper, something to fix what’s broken. I’m broken. You’re broken. We’re broken. And collectively, we make up a broken society. Remember…

It doesn't matter where you live.
It doesn't matter what you do with your time.
It doesn't matter that you have poured your life into your work, and now your personal relationships are crumbling.
It doesn't matter that you’re not promoted.
It doesn't matter that your work feels unimportant, that you could be replaced, or that anyone could do your job.
It doesn't matter what you wear, how you look, how you feel.
It doesn't matter that you lost your sunglasses, lost your life savings, lost your children’s respect.
It doesn't matter that you are a decade behind the technology trends.
It doesn't matter that you've been eating the same peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch almost every workday for ten years, and you still can’t get out of debt.

It doesn’t matter that you are poor, weak, or dumb.
It doesn’t matter that your car doesn’t run, your bicycle is rusted, and your toys are used.
It doesn’t matter that your gifts to others, though extravagant to you, are viewed as second-rate presents.
It doesn’t matter that you failed your test, that you’re not going to “make it.”
It doesn’t matter that your kid threw a tantrum in public, and that unsympathizing people give you an eye of judgment or even words of distain.
It doesn’t matter that you embarrass yourself.
It doesn’t matter that your words do not flow eloquently from your mouth.
It doesn’t matter that you are short, tall, fat, gangly, awkward, nervous, anxious, nauseous.
It doesn’t matter that your spouse abandoned you, that your parents abhor you, that your friends betray you.
It doesn’t matter if you are slow, handicapped, disabled, debilitated, demeaned.
It doesn’t matter that others place no value on your life, that you are a mere nuisance in their lives.

It doesn’t matter what you have done.
It doesn’t matter that you screwed-up, lost your temper, killed.
It doesn’t matter that you have abused those around you.
It doesn’t matter that you have justified stealing from work, from family, from the government.
It doesn’t matter that you have judged others to be lower than yourself, that you justify your worth by putting others down.
It doesn’t matter that you try to grab credit wherever you can, deserved or not.
It doesn't matter that you refuse to be wrong.

What do we pursue? What are we searching for? We do not feel whole, so we are searching. Searching to fill ourselves. With what? What will satisfy us? What will complete us? A spouse, obedient children, praise for our work, money, music, movies, sex, drugs, drinking, houses, cars, motorcycles, toys, relaxation, food, technology, church, doing good things, helping others, teaching, learning more, trying harder, living better…No. A thousand times, No! You will still be vastly empty, even if you had these all. Empty. How can you fill an eternal hole with temporal things? We were built for eternity. Our soul has a vast hole cleaved in it by our sin, our screw-ups, our natural bent toward laziness, selfishness, and destruction. The eternal hole can only be filled with the eternal God. 

It does matter that God loves you, values you, chose you.
It does matter that God still chooses to save you from your reckless spiral of despair, your unfulfilled groping at earthly pleasures. He chooses to love you despite what you may have done or said against him, despite where He has fallen on your priority list.
It does matter that God sent his son to wipe out your black record and your dark past.
It does matter that God promises you a home with him where you will rest from the trials of this life.
It does matter that God heals the sick, calms the anxious, restores the disgraced, picks up the fallen, honors the low, elates the depressed.
It does matter that God created all things, holds all things together, and works all things (seemingly good or bad) for the ultimate spiritual good of those who love Him.
It does matter that God creates in me a new heart in likeness to His own, able to love all people in truth.
It does matter that God is truth.

It does matter that you matter to God. You matter. You are held in God’s view as a beautiful new baby that God had to wait many years to receive, as a child that after parenting through many rebellious years finally says, “Thank you for sticking with me. I couldn’t have done it without you. You mean the world to me. I love you!” God sees you as a precious diamond of incalculable value that has been handed down many generations, that was lost, that He sought with all his effort, that was restored to Him, found and unblemished. God sees you as his only child, completely fixated on your well-being. You, His child, that can do no wrong now that you have been restored to the family through Jesus; he wants to lavish you with gifts beyond your comprehension. 

2 Corinthians 4: 6-18

Example of Faith

Sorry for the ramblings here at the beginning of this post. Consider it raw honesty. It will get somewhere, trust me...

I'm tired. I drank too much coffee today and sat through too much training. Or was it too much? What is my limit? Do I have to let this bother me? I'm I really seeing all of God's blessings in my life?

I sat down to write this post because I felt obligated. I haven't been keeping up with it like I want. I read other blogs that put mine to shame. How do they have the time? Have they gone to school for journalism?

Have you ever tried doing something when you're exhausted and find yourself hitting your head against a wall. Consider this my free writing brainstorming warming up exerciserific writing...aahh, that's better.

So I was reading (well, actually listening to) God's word today from First Samuel, and I was reminded again of what a great guy Jonathan was. His father, Saul, was recently anointed the first king over Israel, and he was next in line to the throne. Saul has just picked a fight with the kings of Philistia and now Saul's army is quaking in fear over the size of the Philistine army that has come out to fight them. To make matters worse, Saul has already disobeyed the Lord, and the prophet Samuel has announced that the kingdom will be taken away from Saul's family. 

In the midst of these depressing family circumstances and perilous national security, Jonathan provides a great example of faith in the Lord.  

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.” 

“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” 

Jonathan said, “Come on, then; we will cross over toward them and let them see us. If they say to us, ‘Wait there until we come to you,’ we will stay where we are and not go up to them. But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands.”

Faith is...

Action
"Come, let's go..."
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, Jonathan takes action.

Waiting on the Lord
"Perhaps the Lord will..."
He does not have any selfish motivation like his father, who proved to have a personal vendeta against the Philistines. Saul wanted to prove his military superiority with or without God...and the without God is the part that killed him. Saul's low self-esteem made him want to build himself up through his own deeds. I easily fall into this trap as I seek to serve the Lord. The Devil is right their to say,"Yeah, good job! Look what YOU did. YOU are pretty good. YOU deserve heaven. YOU don't need Jesus; I think your good enough already. If you screw up, just try harder next time and it will all work out. No one needs to know you messed up. Just keep it a secret. Don't talk to God or anyone about it. You have really good intentions. Keep it up. YOU can do it!"

Trust
"Nothing can hinder the Lord..."
Need I say more? Yes! Salvation is found in no one else! Praise be to Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Strong fellowship
"I am with you heart and soul."
It is neat to see how a strong relationship with God brings about strong relationships with others. Jonathan's armor bearer had full confidence, trust, and faith in Jonathan to lead him in the Lord's path. That brings us nicely into the next characteristic of faith.

Leadership
"Come on, then..."
Seriously, come on, then! Follow me. Worship the Lord and praise his name. Tell all the nations what he has done. Through faith we follow Christ and lead others to Christ.

Intelligent
"If they say to us...that will be our sign..."
When you follow God, you look really smart. Now, I'm not saying you are really smart (I have already dis-proven this theory myself). When you trust the God that has set up all natural laws, that knows all personal thoughts, that fills the universe with His presence, that promises to work everything for your good, that has proven himself to be faithful throughout the history of the world; you, my friend, are in really good hands.

With the Lord's help, Jonathan and his armor bearer rout the entire Philistine army. Philistine soldiers are running a muck, fearful, and swinging at anyone who comes close to them, which is usually their own guys. Part of the Philistine army switches sides on purpose, fighting for Israel. Other Israelites join the chase so that the losses on the Philistine army is very great. Ironically, the only thing preventing the Philistine losses from being very, very great is the selfishness of Saul, who prevented the Israelite soldiers from eating until Saul could be declared the victor over the Philistines. Jonathan still honors his father even though he disagrees with his selfish leadership decisions, because Jonathan honors the Lord.

Jonathan was a great friend, humble at heart, and a faithful follower of God.

Lord, help me be like Jonathan!

You Complete Me

So I am reading Gary Smalley’s The DNA of Relationships. Right in the middle of his discussion on taking personal responsibility, he brings up certain lies about relationships that people believe. A popular one is “You complete me” (think Jerry Maguire here). This sounds good on the surface, especially with emotional music in the background. But this is the old compromise relationship, the old 50/50, the old miserable relationship because we expect the other person to hold up their end of the bargain. We also take it upon ourselves to let them know when we notice them slipping. This is a horrible relationship, cold, contractual; there is no room for love to flourish here. And on page 52 in Chapter three, Gary asks this question, “In your experience, do two unhappy people normally form one happy couple?” I think we all have to agree, not usually.

This sent a light bulb moment to my brain, and I immediately sent out a tweet with Gary’s question and added, “Don’t expect your spouse to complete you. Only God can do that.” 

Then, this morning I get an email from Pastor Jeske entitled “Love Your Singleness” The two sources fit well together, and I was quite impressed with the timing (sometimes God has to make things real obvious for me). So I hope you read both Gary’s book and Pastor Jeske’s Grace Moment, and understand better the power of God in our relationships.

Optimism or Realism

Aren't we all realists? It just depends on our view of reality. Some are right and some are wrong. “Optimist” and “Pessimist” are labels we usually assign to others that we are comparing to ourselves, and we use our “realism” as the measuring stick. Even if you think of yourself as a positive person, you don't go beyond your view of reality.

I've read a lot of authors who say, “Be optimistic and you will be successful!” I've found that when I try to be optimistic, I lie to myself. I seem to be trying to believe something that isn't realistic, and therefore untrue, all because I want it to be different. Sometimes this forced optimism is motivated by an improved perception of myself, sometimes motivated by a desire for success, sometimes motivated by my desire to be more Christ-like. But I find myself struggling against “reality.” I’m trying to believe a lie. I’m trying to force a more positive view of the real world. Even if I exercise my creative powers to come up with positive comments to say and compliments to give, I find my mind whispering “Yeah, but…” 

Other books have told me, “Feed the positive voice and drown out the negative voice.” Basically change your subconscious programming, but when I try to rewrite my own view of the world, I lose a little bit of myself and become someone else that I have made up in my mind. I know it’s not me, because I can analyze both people. If I set up an ideal person or image that I want to change myself into, it leads to lots of frustration. First, I’m trying to be something I know I currently am not. Second, I will never flawlessly follow my ideal image (nobody is perfect). So now I've got low self-esteem because I want success, so I try to be the ideal optimist, and I fail to either follow my ideal or I feel fake when dealing with other people. So what’s the answer? 

I want success => I try to be optimistic => I don’t believe myself => I feel fake, and falter => I motivate myself, because I want success => ???

The books say, “You've got to love the process.” Love the process? Like an abused woman staying with her abusive man? The books say, “Hold a dream close in mind.” Hold the carrot in front of the mule. Do the painful work to get what you want. Of course we don’t know what something is truly like until we get it. There may be extreme disappointment if you have sacrificed your blood, sweat, and tears for something of little lasting worth. The dream is whatever you want. It might be good, but it usually isn't. I always want laziness and selfishness. You say, “Well, of course those aren't good. You have to dream of good things.” But you would be surprised how many things fit into these categories. What’s your motive? Don’t be so sure. 

Even a motivation to be more Christ-like can be walking down the path of Pharisees. A moralistic self-righteousness appears in us, putting ourselves on a pedestal and looking down at others who don’t follow the rules like we do. The real motivation is to pat ourselves on the back and say to God, “Don’t worry, I got this whole sanctification thing. I’ll take it from here.” Foolishness.

The only real answer is to find true reality. When you find true reality you don’t have to try to be something different than who you are. You just change naturally to align yourself with reality. It doesn't make sense to oppose reality. You just find yourself running in circles.

Welcome to reality. Not my reality, true reality, revealed only through God’s word.

We are not perfect. None of us. You may have guessed this one already.

God demands perfection. We cannot enter God’s presence with even one wrong thought. We die because we are not perfect.

God sent his son to be perfection for us. Jesus suffered hell on earth so we could spend an eternity in heaven.

We believe in Jesus as our savior through faith, which is given to us by God, the Holy Spirit. We cannot approach God on our own, because of our imperfection, so God comes to us, calling each one of us to repentance. We confess that Jesus is Lord by the power of the Holy Spirit. Now God says to us, “I have bought you back from death. I have set you apart. I give you my power, my knowledge, my love. You follow my will. You are my child.” Notice that He does not say, “Now you can try to follow my will. You can try to be my child if you do everything right. I can set you apart if you are good enough. You should do everything I ask you to do.” We will do it, because the work is done. We are confident in Gods’ love and mercy not because we always ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” but because we always ask ourselves, “What has Jesus done?” We remind ourselves daily that “It is finished.” and we are God’s children. He is our Father. We ARE different, because that is how He made us. Be free to be yourself, God’s redeemed child. We pray to God and read His word that He has given to us. This communication is the focal point of our relationship.

God constantly watches out for his children. He gives us exactly what we need. He gives us many blessings we can’t possibly count. He gives us opportunities to show love to others. He gives us suffering when we need our faith strengthened or when others need to see our strong faith. Everything is for our benefit. He promises to bless us whichever direction we chose to travel. It will all be for our good, even if it looks like a u-turn. Trust him.
That’s reality. 

Be a realist.

I am a success through Jesus => I trust God’s plan for me => I believe God works for my good => I am motivated by God’s love and mercy to be different

Natural Law

I was recently reading We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident by Oliver DeMille. The whole book is based on natural law, meaning absolute laws of nature and principle, and how these laws are applied to government. It only took until Chapter 3 for the lightning bolt to strike the connection to our church’s sermon series about great questions of faith. The particular sermon that was the lightning rod for Chapter 3 was answering the question, “How can a loving God show so much justice?” Pastor did a great job explaining this seemingly conflicting view, but often times it takes personal connection to really drive the point home. Or just different words that make the connection. Or just repetition until my slow brain can comprehend what is being said. Anyway, somewhere in the sermon, he addressed the topic of Hell, and reading about natural law made something click in a slightly different way. 

Natural law (force) is meant to protect people (self-defense). Natural law is meant to stop the bad in order to protect the good. Force should never be used to force someone to do good (nature of free will). You are free to do whatever you want as long as it is good. God binds himself to natural law. He is just, upholding the law through his power; He is loving, wanting all people to obey the law which leads to ultimate freedom.

We are required to be perfect by God’s law, but we are not forced into one path of service. God supports the good, but restrains the bad. We are not even forced to obey (which would be good); we are only told not to break the law. Sin breaks the law by hurting God and others. God’s law requires that he protect us…from ourselves. The law restrains those that break it for the protection of others (good and bad). God wants to stop the hurt, the chaos. No one does good. Christ had to obey the law as our substitute, give his righteousness to the world, but then God needs to restrain those that reject his righteousness for the sake of those that have received Christ’s righteousness. Ultimately this rejection puts a person into Hell, because God needs to protect those who have obeyed the law (through faith in Christ’s substitution).

If God wants to make all things new to alleviate suffering forever; and if we are eternal beings of body and soul (we don’t just disappear when we die); and if we are not perfect and God is perfect; and if God enabled a substitution of perfectness in his Son Jesus Christ; and if some receive this gift of undeserved righteousness, but others reject this gift of righteousness and cling to their own imperfections; and if God is just (not a liar), upholding natural laws that bind unrighteousness for the protection of the righteous; then God must separate good from bad in order to create the ultimate good environment  (the necessity of Hell).

I also made the connection to parenting. For a while I have been questioning my practice of making my children obey me. In certain circumstances it seemed like the right thing to do, and in others, it seemed wrong. The study of natural law has helped me see the difference. When I uphold the law to protect others (self-defense), the force is right and good. When I force one of my children to do something good, I have taken the law too far. The law (parenting) is meant to restrain evil, so good can flourish freely. The law was never meant to force kindness, caring, love, and generosity. These are meant to flow out of God’s Spirit who is in us. When I discipline one child for the sake of the others, I show love to all my children (and my wife). When I forgive and give our children freedom to obey God’s law on their own. They are thankful (most of the time), and try their best. We all fail, and most times when they are not thankful to follow God’s law, it means I have not displayed God’s love correctly toward them in my discipline. Love by discipline, following my Father’s lead.

There is a lot here, and kind of jumbled. Much of it can be taken much deeper. I recommend reading DeMille’s book, which I started and finished in one day because I couldn't put it down.

I also highly recommend listening to the sermon that connected natural law (justice) to God’s love:  http://vimeo.com/99354475

Or read it here: How can a loving God show so much justice.pdf