When Principles Collide

What do you do when 2 principles collide? Chose one? How about asking yourself the "And" question. Take the two things that you want (or don't want), then ask yourself, "How can I get this and that?"

Clear as mud?

Let's take an example. This is something that we've been doing for a long time that apparently, is not very common in the parenting world. We hold the following 2 principles:

(1) Do not waste food (i.e. eat what you make or take).
(2) Parents should instill good eating habits in their children. 

Now, principle (2) can be broken down into two sub-principles:
(2a) Help your children eat healthy (i.e. eat what you put on the table).
(2b) Do not make your children eat when they are not hungry (i.e. teach them to know their body's limits, don't overeat).

So most parents encourage their children to eat food on their plate, but when the child is declared full, the rest of the food gets thrown away. They wish they didn't have to throw food away, but they don't want to force their children to eat when they are not hungry. This is the typical either/or decision making process that we all fall into. But if you ask yourself the "And" question, your brain will start finding other solutions to follow both of your principles.

How can I encourage good eating habits in my kids and not waste food?

Our solution: Left-over containers!

We make each of our children eat every part of the meal that we give them, but when they are truly full (I leave this up to every parent's good judgement), we tell them to get a left-over container for the remainder of the food on their plate, and they will need to finish this food before the next meal or during a "left-overs" meal. Sound harsh? How else can you follow and teach both principles?

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
    for the ears of the wise seek it out. -Proverbs 18:15

Self-controlled and Alert!

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." -First Peter 5:18 

I went through this passage with the kids yesterday morning. The focus was on self-control. There had been numerous yelling outbursts from children the day before. Together we defined self-control. We came up with:

When we choose to do good instead of bad without mom or dad telling us.

I was impressed with the accuracy of this definition offered up by our children. Now, applying this truth is the hard part, but my wife tells me that our children showed marked improvement that day. That evening for supper, we practiced self-control at the kitchen table. We summed up the main expectation mom and dad have at the table is, respect. So we practiced showing mutual respect (something I read out of Crucial Conversations that day) by being self-controlled. It went well.

After supper I read Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers to the children. We were on Chapter 10: The Voice of Saruman. After reading a lengthy paragraph where J.R.R. Tolkien is describing the ill effects of Saruman's voice, I thought of a parallel to the Devil. His talk seems pleasant and wise, but it is full of lies. Tolkien describes how someone would have to be very alert in order to think for himself as Saruman is talking, otherwise, they would be overcome by his will and under his spell.

I mentioned the First Peter passage from our morning devotion, and how we need to be self-controlled and alert. Why alert? I also shared the following passage with the children, where Jesus is describing the Devil:
...for he is a liar, and the father of lies.

We talked about how God wants us to be alert, looking for things that are not right, not just going with what everyone else is doing. The Devil is constantly feeding us lies. Be alert! Be grounded in the truth of God's word. A lot of things sound good, but lead to destruction.

Then, during our Advent Day by Day devotional, we read of Jesus being tempted by the Devil for 40 days in the wilderness. I asked the children, "Can you imagine having to listen to Saruman's voice for 40 days without food?" I think it was a powerful point that God had aligned for our benefit.

Thank you Lord, for your gracious word of truth. Help us be self-controlled and alert. Amen.

A Week in the Life

I woke up today thinking about all the things I should have done. I had thoughts on blogging. I missed posting something on Thanksgiving blessings, Black Friday materialism, Cyber Monday continued materialism, and Giving Tuesday.

I also felt my smallness this morning. Lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling. Who am I, God, that you are mindful of me? One man in one bedroom in one apartment in one apartment building in one apartment complex on one street in one city... I could picture the Google map image above our home. How many people are even right here, in the same apartment complex. Why am I not so overjoyed with the gospel that I just have to share everything that I learn at church? Probably because I'm self-conscious, thinking too much about how I look and not enough about what God has done for me.

This last week was very relaxing in a "busy doing things I like" sort of way. I took off from work the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go deer hunting this year, so I wanted to take off from work to make sure we had enough family time during the week. I spent more time hunting than I had originally planned, but the Lord blessed us with 2 deer for our freezer (something that has not happened in a while). All day Thanksgiving was spent building relationships with hunting buddies that I haven't seen in a while. Then, I made it back in time to go Black Friday shopping with my wife and her sister. More for sister bonding time rather than finding really great deals on Christmas presents. Slept a little bit Friday morning and visited with my wife's family. Saturday was recovery day with in-home bible study/social in the evening. Later that evening, we went over to the home of  some church friends, who not only invited me to go hunting with them this year (which I did), but also helped me get a deer and processed it for me. They had a box of meat waiting for us that evening!

Sunday was great as usual. I love going to church, learning God's word along side a bunch of fellow sinners. People that are forgiven by God's grace and want to live better lives according to God's will, not so they can look better, but so they can serve their God better.

My wife and her mother attended an Advent by Candlelight service that evening, while me and her dad watched the kids (and the football game).

The week was full of blessings. Not just blessings to be thankful for, but tools to serve God. I wish we would start using the word "tools" instead of "blessings." We tend to keep blessings for ourselves, but we always use tools to accomplish something.

Now, after a week of exhilarating rejuvenation, I am remembering all the things that I had committed to before that week. I need to catch up on catechism lessons with my oldest daughter, I need to focus on Chairman duties, finish reading about 6 books, look for a house, finish getting Christmas presents, and blog...well, one down and a lifetime to go.

God, thank you for work. Help me work faithfully.

BIG Exception

So as I was driving to work, wrestling with thoughts about the ticket, one of my excuses was, “Why can’t I have an exception to the rule? It wasn’t a big deal. I deserve to have a spot to park.”

But God answered, “I’ve already given you a big exception, the biggest exception there is! Do you really want more?”

Ouch. That’s a nagging thought that prods the ungrateful redeemed sinner. So I was lead to confess my sin, I was made willing to receive the consequence of my action, and accept the Lord’s rebuke. But at the same time, and with the same conviction, I felt compelled to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness from God surely came as soon as I confessed my sin and humbled myself before Him, but I also felt compelled to ask for earthly forgiveness.

Here's an aside: That morning, before I got the ticket, I woke up unusually early, 5:33 am. And I woke with the thought, “I need to move the car! Before 6, and then it should be fine.” But I didn’t run right out and move it. No, that would be too rash. It’s not that important. I decided to get ready for work first, and just leave for work before 6. Well, I should know by now that I can’t get out of the apartment that fast. I got to the car at 6:15, and the time on the ticket was 6:00 exactly. I could NOT believe it! I also couldn’t help, but think that God had woken me that morning, told me to move the car, and I hesitated. Foolish. 

Back to the original timeline, I’m driving to work, feeling the need to ask for forgiveness.

I call the apartment office. I know it’s closed right now, but if I didn’t do it now, it might not get done. I’ve hesitated once already this morning and that didn’t work out too well. So I leave a message asking to speak with the person in charge of parking. I work, attend a meeting, work some more, then, late morning, I get the returning phone call. It’s the property manager (not the same name that was on the ticket). I explain what happened and asked to speak with the parking person. He kind of brushed off the request and asked some more questions to clarify the situation. I told him some more background to the story, and he responded, “Yeah. We really don’t want anyone parking in those spaces at any time without a handicapped permit.”

I was silent. I had no excuse for my actions. No defensive statement. God had washed all that away. I was guilty, deserved the ticket, and I was ready to receive it.

He continued after a brief pause, “You can bring the ticket into the office, and I will write a letter to the police department and tell them to ignore the ticket request.”

What? Did I just hear him correctly?  I’m not going to get a ticket? I quickly gather my thoughts as best I can, and tell him I’ll be there sometime today to get him the ticket, and all else I can think to say is a heartfelt, “Thank you!”

Wow! Our God is good!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”–1 John 1:9 

Would my ticket have been cancelled if I had not repented? I don’t think so. Because the Lord loves me, and if I did not repent, then He would bring the full measure of consequences on me, so that I would eventually turn towards him to be saved.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”– Hebrews 12:11

I am blessed. When we learn the true depth of our despair in our reckless sin, only then, can God show us his boundless love and mercy. To reduce our sin is to reduce Jesus’ work. How great is our God and how awesome are His ways! Humble yourselves before the Lord.

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.”– Psalm 149:4

Really Dad!?

So says the rebellious teenager,

“I can’t believe I would get in trouble for this. The rule is stupid! I was only parked there for six hours, and there is never any parking at the apartment complex, which has NO assigned spots. We got back late last night, and I was frustrated with all the gas stations that turn off their pumps at midnight. I have a credit card, why turn the pumps off? We had stuff to carry into the apartment, and I knew I was going to leave early in the morning…there’s never anyone parked in that handicap spot. This is ridiculous! The one time…really Dad!?”

That’s exactly what I felt like…a teenager. Perhaps teenager in faith. In reality, these thoughts and words were thought and said by a 29-year-old father of 4 young children who happened to get a rare night out with his wife to a wedding (that’s about the extent of the special event budget).

What am I supposed to learn? Why do I always have to follow someone else’s rules? Especially when they are ridiculous to me. Why do I think I’m right? Why does it feel like everyone gets a shot at me, and I just have to take it…or pay it? How do all these other people afford these houses? Is their credit maxed? Why does the government take money when I get paid, when I pay, when I invest, when I start a business, when I sleep, when I eat, when I serve, when I park, when I ride my bike, when I want to help someone out, when I hunt, when I “own” property? Why can’t I provide for my family? What’s wrong with me? Why do I always want an exception? Why do I always want a short cut? Why do I always get caught?

"The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in" Proverbs 3:12

I got to work after a long road of wrestling with my thoughts, asking God questions, and getting back answers I didn’t like. I took the stairs to the sixth floor and as I am huffing and puffing, a coworker happened to strike up a conversation with me. Usually I just say everything is fine, but I took the opportunity to lay out my frustrations. He sympathized with me. Afterward, walking to my desk, I felt lighter. Why don’t I talk to other people more? God blesses me through other people. I don’t have to have it all together. Sometimes I can just let out what I’m dealing with, and they can see my life, and they can see that my only hope is God. That’s who I am, God’s child. Trying to grow up. Rebellious at times, but I know the heart of my Father. He is good. I know this because He has shown his boundless love to me in more ways than I can remember and in depths that I can only share with close friends.

Yes Father, I’m listening. I’m sorry. It hurts, but you’re right. Rules protect all of us. It is selfish to expect exceptions. Respect those in authority. By following, you will lead. People will be able to trust you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Peter 5:8

It Doesn't Matter…

There is a lot of depression in American society. There is a lot of medicated diseases and disorders. There is a lot of indulgence in entertainment to drown out reality. There is a lot of drinking, drugs (prescription or not), and sex. There is a lot of hurt people hurting people, grasping at something new, something deeper, something to fix what’s broken. I’m broken. You’re broken. We’re broken. And collectively, we make up a broken society. Remember…

It doesn't matter where you live.
It doesn't matter what you do with your time.
It doesn't matter that you have poured your life into your work, and now your personal relationships are crumbling.
It doesn't matter that you’re not promoted.
It doesn't matter that your work feels unimportant, that you could be replaced, or that anyone could do your job.
It doesn't matter what you wear, how you look, how you feel.
It doesn't matter that you lost your sunglasses, lost your life savings, lost your children’s respect.
It doesn't matter that you are a decade behind the technology trends.
It doesn't matter that you've been eating the same peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch almost every workday for ten years, and you still can’t get out of debt.

It doesn’t matter that you are poor, weak, or dumb.
It doesn’t matter that your car doesn’t run, your bicycle is rusted, and your toys are used.
It doesn’t matter that your gifts to others, though extravagant to you, are viewed as second-rate presents.
It doesn’t matter that you failed your test, that you’re not going to “make it.”
It doesn’t matter that your kid threw a tantrum in public, and that unsympathizing people give you an eye of judgment or even words of distain.
It doesn’t matter that you embarrass yourself.
It doesn’t matter that your words do not flow eloquently from your mouth.
It doesn’t matter that you are short, tall, fat, gangly, awkward, nervous, anxious, nauseous.
It doesn’t matter that your spouse abandoned you, that your parents abhor you, that your friends betray you.
It doesn’t matter if you are slow, handicapped, disabled, debilitated, demeaned.
It doesn’t matter that others place no value on your life, that you are a mere nuisance in their lives.

It doesn’t matter what you have done.
It doesn’t matter that you screwed-up, lost your temper, killed.
It doesn’t matter that you have abused those around you.
It doesn’t matter that you have justified stealing from work, from family, from the government.
It doesn’t matter that you have judged others to be lower than yourself, that you justify your worth by putting others down.
It doesn’t matter that you try to grab credit wherever you can, deserved or not.
It doesn't matter that you refuse to be wrong.

What do we pursue? What are we searching for? We do not feel whole, so we are searching. Searching to fill ourselves. With what? What will satisfy us? What will complete us? A spouse, obedient children, praise for our work, money, music, movies, sex, drugs, drinking, houses, cars, motorcycles, toys, relaxation, food, technology, church, doing good things, helping others, teaching, learning more, trying harder, living better…No. A thousand times, No! You will still be vastly empty, even if you had these all. Empty. How can you fill an eternal hole with temporal things? We were built for eternity. Our soul has a vast hole cleaved in it by our sin, our screw-ups, our natural bent toward laziness, selfishness, and destruction. The eternal hole can only be filled with the eternal God. 

It does matter that God loves you, values you, chose you.
It does matter that God still chooses to save you from your reckless spiral of despair, your unfulfilled groping at earthly pleasures. He chooses to love you despite what you may have done or said against him, despite where He has fallen on your priority list.
It does matter that God sent his son to wipe out your black record and your dark past.
It does matter that God promises you a home with him where you will rest from the trials of this life.
It does matter that God heals the sick, calms the anxious, restores the disgraced, picks up the fallen, honors the low, elates the depressed.
It does matter that God created all things, holds all things together, and works all things (seemingly good or bad) for the ultimate spiritual good of those who love Him.
It does matter that God creates in me a new heart in likeness to His own, able to love all people in truth.
It does matter that God is truth.

It does matter that you matter to God. You matter. You are held in God’s view as a beautiful new baby that God had to wait many years to receive, as a child that after parenting through many rebellious years finally says, “Thank you for sticking with me. I couldn’t have done it without you. You mean the world to me. I love you!” God sees you as a precious diamond of incalculable value that has been handed down many generations, that was lost, that He sought with all his effort, that was restored to Him, found and unblemished. God sees you as his only child, completely fixated on your well-being. You, His child, that can do no wrong now that you have been restored to the family through Jesus; he wants to lavish you with gifts beyond your comprehension. 

2 Corinthians 4: 6-18

Example of Faith

Sorry for the ramblings here at the beginning of this post. Consider it raw honesty. It will get somewhere, trust me...

I'm tired. I drank too much coffee today and sat through too much training. Or was it too much? What is my limit? Do I have to let this bother me? I'm I really seeing all of God's blessings in my life?

I sat down to write this post because I felt obligated. I haven't been keeping up with it like I want. I read other blogs that put mine to shame. How do they have the time? Have they gone to school for journalism?

Have you ever tried doing something when you're exhausted and find yourself hitting your head against a wall. Consider this my free writing brainstorming warming up exerciserific writing...aahh, that's better.

So I was reading (well, actually listening to) God's word today from First Samuel, and I was reminded again of what a great guy Jonathan was. His father, Saul, was recently anointed the first king over Israel, and he was next in line to the throne. Saul has just picked a fight with the kings of Philistia and now Saul's army is quaking in fear over the size of the Philistine army that has come out to fight them. To make matters worse, Saul has already disobeyed the Lord, and the prophet Samuel has announced that the kingdom will be taken away from Saul's family. 

In the midst of these depressing family circumstances and perilous national security, Jonathan provides a great example of faith in the Lord.  

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.” 

“Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” 

Jonathan said, “Come on, then; we will cross over toward them and let them see us. If they say to us, ‘Wait there until we come to you,’ we will stay where we are and not go up to them. But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands.”

Faith is...

Action
"Come, let's go..."
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, Jonathan takes action.

Waiting on the Lord
"Perhaps the Lord will..."
He does not have any selfish motivation like his father, who proved to have a personal vendeta against the Philistines. Saul wanted to prove his military superiority with or without God...and the without God is the part that killed him. Saul's low self-esteem made him want to build himself up through his own deeds. I easily fall into this trap as I seek to serve the Lord. The Devil is right their to say,"Yeah, good job! Look what YOU did. YOU are pretty good. YOU deserve heaven. YOU don't need Jesus; I think your good enough already. If you screw up, just try harder next time and it will all work out. No one needs to know you messed up. Just keep it a secret. Don't talk to God or anyone about it. You have really good intentions. Keep it up. YOU can do it!"

Trust
"Nothing can hinder the Lord..."
Need I say more? Yes! Salvation is found in no one else! Praise be to Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Strong fellowship
"I am with you heart and soul."
It is neat to see how a strong relationship with God brings about strong relationships with others. Jonathan's armor bearer had full confidence, trust, and faith in Jonathan to lead him in the Lord's path. That brings us nicely into the next characteristic of faith.

Leadership
"Come on, then..."
Seriously, come on, then! Follow me. Worship the Lord and praise his name. Tell all the nations what he has done. Through faith we follow Christ and lead others to Christ.

Intelligent
"If they say to us...that will be our sign..."
When you follow God, you look really smart. Now, I'm not saying you are really smart (I have already dis-proven this theory myself). When you trust the God that has set up all natural laws, that knows all personal thoughts, that fills the universe with His presence, that promises to work everything for your good, that has proven himself to be faithful throughout the history of the world; you, my friend, are in really good hands.

With the Lord's help, Jonathan and his armor bearer rout the entire Philistine army. Philistine soldiers are running a muck, fearful, and swinging at anyone who comes close to them, which is usually their own guys. Part of the Philistine army switches sides on purpose, fighting for Israel. Other Israelites join the chase so that the losses on the Philistine army is very great. Ironically, the only thing preventing the Philistine losses from being very, very great is the selfishness of Saul, who prevented the Israelite soldiers from eating until Saul could be declared the victor over the Philistines. Jonathan still honors his father even though he disagrees with his selfish leadership decisions, because Jonathan honors the Lord.

Jonathan was a great friend, humble at heart, and a faithful follower of God.

Lord, help me be like Jonathan!