Where have you been?

 Wow...It's been a while since I've posted anything here. I suppose there are many reasons for that, even reasons I don't fully comprehend, but it happened. Do you ever wonder, "What happened? How did I get here?" 

Thinking back. I went through a period of my life where I started thinking I wasn't very helpful to others...or my influence is not enough...or doubting the value of the work...

Even now I wonder, "Who am I writing this for? Why am I writing this like someone is actually going to read it?" But I have so many thoughts day after day, and I don't want to keep drifting. I keep looking for what God is calling me into...and nothing feels fantastic. Whenever I think something is taking shape, that other people will call me into a service...will value my God given gifts...it seems to fall flat. There are enough other people that disagree with the first people that wanted me to help and the people as a whole reject (or passively dismiss) what I have to offer.

Am I worthless?!

I have people in my life that say, "No, you are not worthless. You have tremendous value to us." I thank God for these people. They reinforce what God tells me in his word, but I pray that some day I will only need God's promises to sustain my feeling of value. Theoretically, God's promises should be enough, but maybe not yet (and that's OK). My God does not abandon me when I don't live up to perfection. That's why God came down from heaven, to meet me where I'm at. 

We all enjoy dramatic transformation stories...it just that most of us don't experience life that way. We're slow to change, we waiver and fall, we doubt and we struggle, we get anxious and depressed and angry...very angry. But God is greater than all of these. He lightens our load, He provides an easy way out, He strengthens us to continue the journey, to return.

So I'm back, at least for now. I'm going to try to write more freely. I'm going to try to be consistent. 

Even now I hear the whisper, "Who are you to post a blog? No one's going to see this. You're wasting your time. Even if this does provide some clarity for you now, it will be of no benefit for anyone else. Your children probably won't even read this, and they'd be the only ones to care...maybe when you're dead. Who's going to recieve any benefit from this effort? And if someone does find it, they'll probably turn it against you, attack you, belittle you. You only put yourself out there to be rejected, like all those other times. Save. Don't publish. Wait for later. Quit and get back to what you're supposed to be doing. Quit."

OK, the whisper easily turns into pretty load talking. Fear. It will stop us from so many things. It will obscure reality. I can ramble here, this is my space...not like it's a prepared sermon...not like I'm a professional writer...but then, should I be?

I'm publishing this to get over my fear...sorry for anyone that actually read this rambling. I pray that God works powerfully in your life and helps you overcome your fears too.

Things God Never Said

Talked to an old friend today. He gave me the same devil-infested lies that another friend gave me a little over a year ago.

"We're different people now."

"We haven't been happy for a while."

"We went to counseling. We gave it a shot."

"It was difficult with the kids, a lot of stress."

"To stay married when you're not happy, that's not fair to either one of us."

"This is best for all of us."

"It's over."

God, Damn sin to hell! Just please don't take my friends with it. Please cover over their sin with the blood of your Son, Jesus Christ. Please lead them out of this self-degrading and destructive behavior which ravages families, tears down godly confidence, and teaches the Devil's lies to the next generation. God, please save us from ourselves. Forgive me for my own less-visible sins. All sin destroys your good creation. Please purify my heart. Do not let me give the Devil even a foothold on my heart or mind. When I am tempted to put my own perceived happiness above the responsibilities you have placed in my life, please shake me and point me to the truth in your Word. Even "responsibilities" are blessings from your gracious hand that the Devil has painted with the facade of "hard work", "no fun", and "have to do it". And the joy that your children experience on the other side of trust and obedience is the very thing that the godless seek in their pursuit of happiness and avoidance of responsibilities. You are just in your judgments. Please also be merciful to us. We all have sinned and fall short of your standard. Show us our error, and lead us to change through the power of your unfailing love. 

God never said, "Be happy, because I the Lord your God am happy."
          He did say, "Be holy, because I the Lord your God am holy."

God never said, "My grace doesn't cover that sin."
          He did say, "My grace is sufficient for you."

God never said, "People will never change."
          He did say, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." 
            and "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

God never said, "Whatever you do, give it a good shot."
          He did say, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart."

God never said, "Love others only when they love you."
          He did say, "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you."

God never said, "Some marriages just don't work out."
          He did say, "The man who does not love his wife but divorces her, does violence to the one he should protect. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

Giver or Taker

I saw this TED Talk at work a while back, and I was randomly thinking about it this morning from a Christian perspective. 

God tells me I am called to be a Giver, but I doubt Him. 

What if I'm in an environment where everyone takes advantage of me? What will be left for me? So I take a little just to balance out the equation, just so I'm not consumed by these people. Then I start taking, because I deserve better. They don't pay me enough for this. They dead end all my work anyway, I can't get anything past management. Why bother trying so hard? 

God calls me to be a Giver, but I doubt Him.

I can see how everything would be better if we had a culture of giving. No one would want for anything, because everyone would help...but that's not the culture we have here...and I'm just one person. I would be worn out before any significant progress would be made. I wouldn't get anything back for all my effort.

God calls me to be a Giver, but I doubt Him.

I keep volunteering so much, and donating so much. I feel compelled to contribute and give to all these excellent causes, especially the work of God's kingdom. I don't have time to stay busy at work, I have flexible hours, that break wasn't too much longer than normal. I've got to use some work time for my volunteer work, because otherwise, when would I do them? I've got other responsibilities when I get home. I'm just running out of time this week.

God calls me to be a Giver, but I doubt Him.

My children were supposed to bring me happiness, but they are so demanding. They only think about playing and what they want. Can't they see that I need to work, and clean the house, and help the neighbor? Don't they see the stress that I'm under? If I take the time to talk with them, to help them with their schoolwork, to help them get ready for bed, to help them eat healthy, to help them stay clean, to help them...when will I have my "me time"?

God calls me to be a Giver, but I doubt Him.

There! I finished. Now can't I be done? This is good enough. They know what I mean. They can figure out the rest. They don't need it exactly their way. This is the best I can do. They are going to have to just accept that. They don't know what I have to go through, they don't know my hard life.

God calls me to be a Giver, but I doubt Him.

Why can't they just follow directions? I told them exactly what I wanted. If I give grace, will they repeat the offense? Will they start taking advantage of me? If I scare them with anger, they will be more likely to pay attention and do what I want. 

God, you call me to be a Giver. Help me!

I have been given much, physical blessings are all around me.

I have been forgiven, there is much to forgive.

I have a loving Father who promises to give me everything I need.

I have a compassionate Brother who knows what it's like.

I have the Spirit within me which links me to the very power and love of God.

I have an eternal inheritance waiting for me.

When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory...I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians, Chapter 1

Fidgeting

Thinking about fidget toys this morning...In theory, I am apposed to the use of fidgets, but when I sit down at my computer and start thinking about all the engineering problems I need to solve, I reach for something. I fiddle with my pen, I grab a snack from my lunch, I check my phone...why?

I think that I am looking for comfort.

That may seem odd when you think about the types of things you find yourself fidgeting with, but I think there might be a connection.

I look for other things that I can control when I'm facing a problem that I do not yet have in control. The small thing, the small easy task gives me comfort, makes me believe I can tackle the big challenge in front of me.

What if God was my fidget?

What if whenever I was faced with a big challenge outside of my immediate control, I reached for God? Not as something that I could easily manipulate, but as the Almighty Everlasting Loving Father that comes up along side of me, puts His hand on my shoulder, and says, "Now what are you working on here, son? Need any help?". Instead of pushing His hand away, and saying, "No. I got this. You'll see." - or worse, not even acknowledging His presence - what if I just took the time to answer Him with, "Hey Dad! I'm glad you're here. I could really use some help figuring this one out. You see, here's the problem, I've got...".

Now that's comforting. A lot more comforting than that donut I'm scarfing down as I'm staring at my computer screen...that I know is going to have negative impacts on my health.

What if I enjoyed working along side of Him, knowing that everything is going to turn out great with Him there - even if sometimes it looks like I've really screwed it up? He is patient, and he likes to see me learn. He made me this way, and He enjoys working with me. Maybe I should just let Him.

Claustrophobic - letting go

I had a dream in which I was walking down a hallway. The hallway had concrete block walls and was in a basement of a large building. At the end of the hallway, around the corner was a small room not much bigger than a closet, but it was set up like a library with tall shelves filled with books. It had a shelf along the back wall and a central shelf protruding out from the right wall. Curious, I go in, perusing the shelves. As I get to the back corner, around the central shelf, someone comes up behind me. They are interested in the books as well. Then another person shows up. I try to get out, but there is no way around them. I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable. I climb the center book shelf, hoping to jump over, but when I look over the top, I see a whole crowd that has packed the hallway, and they all are pressing into the room, filling every available space...

I can't get out... 

I start to panic. 

My heart rate sky rockets.

I recognize something is wrong...not with the situation, but with me. I know panicking is not going to solve anything, and is actually making the situation worse. I know I need to calm down...but how?!

I remind myself of the truth, 

"Why am I so upset? I am not under any immediate threat. The oxygen is not going to run out. I am not being hurt. I am just...not in control. I can't do what I want. I'm stuck. But most importantly, even though I am not in control, God is in control. He can take care of me. I don't have to be afraid. Even if this is the end of my earthly life, God is in control. I don't have to be afraid." 

A tremendous relief flows over me. The fog of panic lifts, and I can think clearly about the situation. It occurs to me that I haven't even asked the crowd if they can move back and let me out...

And I wake up. 


I was so nervous when I was not in control of my space. I can see this in other areas of my life as well. But God is still in control. If I let him be in control, I can relax. Then I can think clearly about the situation, and my fears don't run me over.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." - First Peter 5:6-11 ESV

Eclipse Hype

With all the hype about the solar eclipse, I’m reminded of all the wonderful things in all creation that worship the Lord, and yet people, the crown of God’s creation, refuse to worship Him, or even acknowledge His presence.

 

Do not worship the heavenly bodies, or give them more significance than God…

And when you look up to the sky and see the sun, the moon and the stars—all the heavenly array—do not be enticed into bowing down to them and worshiping things the Lord your God has apportioned to all the nations under heaven. Deuteronomy 4:19

They will not last…

“Immediately after the distress of those days “‘the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’  Matthew 24:29

That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 2Peter 3:12b

Historical punishment for Israelites who worshiped the heavens and not the creator…

They will be exposed to the sun and the moon and all the stars of the heavens, which they have loved and served and which they have followed and consulted and worshiped. They will not be gathered up or buried, but will be like dung lying on the ground. Jeremiah 8:2

Paul preached to those in ignorance…

For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So you are ignorant of the very thing you worship—and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.  Acts 17:23

The truth and our purpose…

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

That all may join in true Christian Worship…

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4:23-24

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:24-26

He said in a loud voice, “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water.” Revelation 14:7

A Whack on the Thumb...again

"Ow! I cannot believe this! Ow! God, you got to be kidding! Again!"

I smacked my thumb on the top of a pallet fence as I was throwing a shovel full of goat manure over...and I had previously hit this thumb with a hammer, cracking the nail in half perpendicular to my thumb.

I keep hitting this thumb, and it hurts. I'm not one for yelling when in pain, but I'm starting to develop this bad habit with this thumb. The nail is broken half way down, so it's going to be a while before it grows out and is well protected again. Thinking about it now, I can't imagine how many times I'm going to hit it again, but in the moment, I never expect to hit it again.

I wonder if God feels the same way. 

Does He  think, "OK, I've lined everything up. I'm taking care of him. There is no way he's going to fall into sin now...OH MAN! OW! You got to be kidding me! Again! Ow! I can't believe how much this hurts! It's not supposed to be like this!"

I know Christ has taken away all of our sins for all time, and the Father can now look down on us with love as he sees a bunch of perfect children...but what about willful sins? What about the ones that we forcefully shove God out of our lives so we can do what we want right now? Isn't that unbelief? Isn't that throwing down the bright white cloak of Christ's righteousness and wallowing in the mud right in front of an ever-present God of justice? 

What does that feel like for God?

We get a little picture of what it feels like in the crucifixion of Jesus. How many of us would vomit at the sight of such a brutal torture? Sin hurts, sin kills.

But then we repeat the offense...again...again...again. I know the frustration that can occur when a spouse keeps offending in the same way over and over again. It doesn't take long for our human patience to run out. Can we even overlook one offense without blowing up, making a snide comment, or a sarcastic joke? 

God must be a glutton for punishment (please excuse the use of this coarse phraseology). Why does he stand there? - in sight of our offenses, in view of our cheating on him, right next to us while we spit on him, bend over while we scourge him, kneel while we strike him in the face, spread his arms while we pound nails through his hands, stand on a nail through his feet while we mock his power...his power that he willingly gives up...so that we can be part of his family, eat at his table, share in the inheritance, come back to life, be immortal, be free.

I guess thinking about it more, God wouldn't yell in outburst at our sins. The scriptures never mention Jesus yelling...except maybe when clearing the temple. Maybe there are two scenarios...

For his elected chosen children who are also weak fleshly creatures who find themselves astray and humbly crawl back to their Father just hoping for a slaves quarters - he patiently endures your offending, cheating, spitting, scourging, beating, killing - so that you may come to the realization of the truth and be saved.

For those hard hearted willfull sinners of pride who trade the righteousness of God for disgusting filthy rags of this physical world - God please never let me be this person, and may I never meet one. The wrath of God is reserved for these. May I see only pre-believers, not unbelievers. Please, send me to the lost, the confused, the mislead, and the broken, so I can be so privileged to see you find, correct, lead, and heal. 

Confirmation Blessing

This is the blessing I gave my daughter on the day she was confirmed in her faith. She's been studying Luther's catechism for three years (one with us and two with pastor). And her walk with God is only beginning. I was able to say the last part of my blessing in church, starting with her confirmation verse from Hebrews.

Well, here it is, confirmation day. Grace Michaiah Meinel, you are being confirmed in your faith. It's kinda like a wedding day. Not unlike a wedding day, where you are taking a commitment to be with God for the rest of your life. You've had a long engagement, as is typical now days, through your childhood. We've planned and made preparations for this confirmation day, but like a wedding day, it's soon over. And then the hard part begins. How do you stay committed for a lifetime? In marriage? In confirmation of your faith to our Lord? Fortunately God makes it easy for us. His answer is the same - "Me." He just encourages us to be in His word. And His word will guide you your entire life. Through ups and downs - most certainly downs. And your confirmation verse will be a special verse to you to guide you in specifically down times, but also to give you everlasting hope in up times. This Bible Verse, Hebrews 10:39 "But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." May God give you strength to be bold in your faith. Most certainly it won't happen your entire life, but may he work through you and constantly in you to be the woman that He designed you to be. And I see it in you, everyday. Grace Michaiah, may the Lord bless you for the rest of your life. Amen.

Fathers

Fathers set the tone for the family.

Ideals - Reality - God's mercy

Mother and wife: 
A good father places his wife first. If the father is the CEO, the mother is the COO. He supports the mother, gives her his authority (and backs it up), gives her freedom to be creative in her roles, takes responsibility for everything that goes wrong, gives praise for everything that goes right.

Daughters:
Both how a father loves their mother, and how a father loves them - this is how their daughters will be loved by their husbands, this is the type (or anti-type) of men their daughters will seek out. Their confidence in their father's love will not leave them grasping at boys who don't know what love is. A father's love protects, strengthens, and guides.

Sons:
A father is the standard. Sons will want to be like their father, or better. How much better will depend on the example that is set for them. And they get a front row seat to us at our worst. No business-like facade here. Raw emotions will rage, hurt, and need repentance. Real men ask for forgiveness. No father is perfect, but that is no excuse for a lazy standard for sons to follow. Respect for women, be the hero, standard of honesty, honor, and self-control.

These are my ideals, but far from my reality. 

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

The older I get, the more I realize how I've screwed up. But in God's mercy, He watches over my wife and children - even sustains me through them! My earthly fatherhood is riddled with sin. But God our Father teaches my children lessons I have not yet learn, loves them in ways I have not yet learned to love, provides for them in a wisdom and power that I will never reach. God is good.

What matters most:

Worship attendance - view of worship opportunities, joy

View of God the Father - willingness to be under authority, to serve

Personal study of God's Word - desire to know Him and copy Him, the perfect Father

How they treat others - practicing what they've been taught

Jesus prayed for us - “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” - John 17

2017 Life-a-thon

We are organizing the first Madison area Life-a-thon this Friday, May 12. The life-a-thon is a 5k run/walk that supports Associated Pregnancy Services in the Milwaukee area (where most abortions in Wisconsin occur). 

Come run/walk off your work week frustrations!  😁 And help provide support to families facing unplanned pregnancies.

The run/walk will be on the Military Ridge Trail between Old County Rd PB and Fitchburg Rd. Please meet in the Verona park and ride at 6 pm, then we will all walk across the street to the starting line.

Fire, pizza, and drinks at Hermansons after the run/walk.

Don't know who the Hermansons are? You should, they are cool people!

For more details or to sign up for this event, go to https://secure.ministrysync.com/ministrysync/event/website/?m=3285482&tab=3

You can select "RCRC - Verona" for the team name. Then under Walk Location select Virtual Walker

Please note: This sign up is through FundEasy. You automatically get a fundraising page with your sign up, but no fundraising is required to participate in the event.  Just your entry fee automatically helps also.

Saved my Marriage

These books saved my marriage:

Created to be His Help Meet, Becoming a Woman of His Dreams, Power of a Woman's Words, The Power of a Praying Wife, Beautiful in God's Eyes...

If you'll notice, these books do not necessarily have a male target audience...that's because my wife read them. She's been saving our marriage for a long time. Although if you ask her, she might give you a different answer.

So, it's not about what I do, it's what she does. She chooses to love me every day - not with conditional love that's looking to change me. But she takes me where I'm at, and sees me for who I can become in Christ.

No, it's really God who has saved our marriage, but I like to think that He's done it through her. Of course the whole time she's been reading these books, she's also been searching God's Word, diligently going to church, earnestly praying, and learning from other mentor women about how to be a good wife and mother.

I'm amazed at what God accomplishes through her...which includes keeping me on track!

These are the top 3 books my wife listed off the top of her head this morning:
1. Bible
2. Created to be His Helpmeet
3. Becoming a Woman of His Dreams

Some other books we've both read:
Night Light (devotional)
DNA of Relationships
4 Days to a Forever Marriage
Love and Respect
The Five Love Languages
Personality Plus
For Men Only/For Women Only (we each read our respective book)

He Anointed Us

If you have been baptized, or are thinking about being baptized, watch this:

Better quality video here: https://vimeo.com/199593195

This sermon really speaks to me because I want to be a man of purpose. That's why I go to Men of His Word. That's why I read devotions to my children. That's why I do "crazy" things.

We're built for kingdom work. Whether you're a Peter, a John, a Thomas, a Mary, a Martha, a Dorcus...whatever you're currently labeling yourself as, the list extends to all those who are baptized in Christ, anointed by God.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit and work

Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”

Dad's work.

The Son's work allows me to reference the Father as "Dad".

The Holy Spirit guides my thoughts into alignment with the Father's thoughts.

The Father is the complete source of knowledge and power, and He will give whatever level of knowledge and power for me to carry out His will. Jesus had this resource while He physically walked this earth and He used it in perfect lockstep with the Father's will. Jesus was never looking to use God's power for His own benefit, but for the Father's benefit.

The Son was always working to carry out the Father's will. So now I get to follow in His footsteps to carry out the Father's will. I fail every day, but Jesus keeps me right with God. The Son allows me to work for the Father.

Each day that I look back on my life, I feel like I finally just started believing. When I look at my past, I'm horrified by my way of life, the sins that so easily entangled me. I doubt if I could even have been saved. But I am certain that I am saved now.

This sounds like madness, and inconsistent logic. But then again, I'm describing a moving target. My perspective is changing throughout my sanctification process. Knowing this, I can extend grace to others that have different weaknesses. I can see that God also calls them. Even if the world labels them "unbelievers", God still loves them and is calling them. As long as they are alive on this earth (except in rare cases of hardened hearts) they are looking for rest in God's grace. And God has equipped each and every believer to share His grace, because it is the same grace He gave to them. Every Christian knows this grace. Don't over complicate it, share it.

Forgive as you have been forgiven.

Give as you have been given.

Serve as you have been served.

Love as you have been loved.

Even tell the truth in the same manner that the truth was revealed to you...with grace.

Be patient as God has been patient with you.

Be confident in God's timing. He rarely works all of a sudden. He is not slow as some understand slowness, but He waits for the proper time.

Be looking for the proper time. Be diligent in prayer. I have newly discovered the power of prayer again in my life. The Holy Spirit is filling me, and I love it! It brings such deep joy, comfort, peace. I'm happy to be me. I'm satisfied to be God's child, and I love my Dad's work.

Why Peter?

Lord, why Peter?

A 3rd shift fisherman.

He had a wife and kids...he was busy.

And a sinful man...

Not sinful enough not to listen to a preacher; but when he recognizes that preacher to be connected to God's power, he knows he won't be able to hide his sins. They will be known. Then what? He shuddered to think of the disowning and estrangement that would result..the guilt and shame of bringing dark things into the light. He begs, "Go away from me Lord; I am a sinful man!"

Peter was acutely aware of his sins. They were so big, so foolish, that he "knew" he never had a chance of being in God's inner circle. 

And yet, Jesus chose him. He tolerated his impulsive nature and his judgmental attitude - to teach him, so that he could teach others. 

How old was Peter? At least 30? He had a family, and he had part ownership in a fishing company.

When he was called, he dropped everything and followed. He left the windfall of profits lying in the boats. He left all his invested capital run up on the shore. He saw through all those things to what he really wanted. He wanted to be at peace with God. He wanted to feel God's presence. He wanted for God to be in his home, and for God to make His home in his heart - never to leave. 

He wanted to be something, not just in this world, but for God. And Jesus told him he was something...and that God could use him.

"Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men."

Lord, why me?

I'm just a fisherman.

I'm a sinful man. I've done foolish things. Things that a man of God ought not to do. 

Doesn't that disqualify me? 

Doesn't that make me unfit for service? 

How can you use me when my reputation is an impulsive jerk?

It doesn't make sense to me...but I feel called.

Have you fixed me enough for your service? Or can you use me with my current faults?

What about my responsibilities? What about my wife, my children, my plans...the other good works that I think I can accomplish? Should I do them first? Should I wait?

"Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men."

Thoughts on Luke 5:1-11

Back to the Basics

Our family has been blessed with being busy with many different things. One of these things is involvement in our church's preschool. We've had a lot of interaction with Mormon families recently, and it lead me to research the Truth in Love ministry.

After reading through the Basic Facts about Mormonism and Basic Witnessing Tools, I'm reflecting on how detailed and extensive is our catechism studies of biblical teachings. And yet this only scratches the service. I needed to dive into apologetics to satisfy my own nagging doubts. There is so much to learn about God that we can spend our whole lives as His student, companion, and beloved; and yet not fully grasp His love and faithfulness. I want to know Him more!

We can make this study very complicated and multifaceted - assign a whole array of technical terms...

And yet...

When it come right down to doing what Christ has called us to do - spread the gospel, we tend to forget the basics...and the basics make all the difference.

Way back in childhood, it was my first love. Forgiveness. I knew that I had screwed up bad...many times...I'd seen the hurt...but when I looked to the cross of Christ, I saw my debt paid, I saw His perfect life covering my failures, I saw His resurrection promising a new life free of screw ups. I saw new life. Undeserved love. Complete forgiveness. Another chance to be different.

Law and Gospel.

Why not focus on what I love to hear? That's what keeps me coming back Sunday after Sunday. Isn't that what they need to hear? Isn't that what we are all looking for?

I want to reach these Mormon families. Not sure how, not sure when, but I'm going to prepare. I'm going to try to know them better, and focus on the basics. It seems too simple, too easy - just speak God's word. I always want to get off track with appalling doctrinal errors - fix the immediate problem. But that's not what I was called to do. I was called to give the solution to the problem. I echo Paul's words, "I resolve to know nothing, but Christ, and him crucified."

Father, forgive me when I over-complicate your word. When I get emotionally frustrated. When I lose the love you have for my fellow human being. Grant me wisdom to use your law and gospel in proper proportion. Help me spread your saving word with each person you've placed in my life. Let my conversations be ever seasoned with the salt of your truth and love. Give me peace, that my past failures will not hinder your eternal purpose, that your good plan will work with whatever I am able to offer. Let me empty myself of sinful pride that your Holy Spirit may fill me completely for your purpose. In the Name I pray, amen.

Challenging Week

Our family is facing some challenges this week. We all signed up for soccer camp this week. The kids are participating; my wife and I are coaching 3k and 4k, respectively. I'm working as much as I can in the mornings, then meeting the group over at the soccer fields shortly after noon. I knew this would be a challenging week, and God has led me to Psalm 121 for strength. I hear a little of the song whenever I read these verses. I also hear a sermon based on these verses that reinforces their meaning in my life.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Two of our children were sick yesterday, so I read this out loud to them last night. We had kind of a crazy night of checking on the kids, but they are better this morning. We also faced a marriage challenge last night, but resolved it this morning. My wife is awesome, because she loves God. I am constantly amazed at what God does through her. She needed some building up this morning, and I was reminded of God's call to Gideon, "Go in the strength you have." We are already equipped to handle the challenges God has placed before us. God loves to do amazing things through His people. Press on, we've got an awesome God behind us and leading us.

Weeding the Garden

What has happened since Easter?

Weather has gotten warm. Sun is most often shining. The garden is planted and dangerously full of weeds...

Seriously, we had to perform a rescue mission last weekend to save some of our garden. These crazy weeds covered our entire garden, they block out all light. They hold in moisture so that everything below them rots. It was gross. Several of our lettuce plants had rotted off at the ground. Our peas, squash, and carrots were gasping for air. Our onions were sparse. Our corn and green beans are non-existent.

Yikes! What happened!

We didn't weed it every day. We didn't test to see what was good growth, and what was invasive and destructive.

Reminds me of the parable of the sower...

He [Jesus] told this parable: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” 

But what does it all mean? You may not like the explanation. You may have to weed the garden.

Do you really want to know? If not, stop reading. It wasn't meant for you.

Do you really want to know? If yes, you must be one of Jesus' disciples.

When he [Jesus] said this [the parable], he called out, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, “The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,

“‘though seeing, they may not see;
    though hearing, they may not understand.’

“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures...

Are you producing a crop? How do you know? Peter says,

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Feeling ineffective and unproductive? Peter tells us we are given everything we need...knowledge of Him.

Grow in your knowledge of Him, plant His words in your soul daily, weed your garden hourly, and bask in the light of our God and His promises.

Peace be with you all.

The Holy Week Beat Down

This week is Holy Week, the week before Easter. At Easter we celebrate Jesus' resurrection from death showing that He has the power over death, more importantly, the power over our death. Because He lives, we also will live.

During this Holy Week - well really all through the church season of Lent - but especially during Holy Week, I like to review the Passion history, what Jesus had to go through during the very last week of His humiliated human life.

This history shows the true weight of my sins that I love to commit.

This doesn't sound like fun to most people, including myself, if I only have a short-sighted view. Most people want to cover up their mistakes, they want everyone to accept them for "who they are", and whatever they want to be...even if those choices have significant negative spiritual consequences. I'm guilty of this. I craft excellent excuses for bad behavior - lashing out in anger, belittling someone else's idea, getting depressed when things don't go according to plan, and the list is really endless.

I get beat down during Holy Week. What I think are only minor scrapes and bruises by forgetting about God while I'm at work or by picking on someone instead of encouraging them - these turn out to be thorns stabbed into my face and jagged shards of metal tearing into my back. My seemingly innocent flaws put me on the outs with God, put me in the danger of hell. When I think I am secure, then I see rightly that I have faltered.

I am also reminded of wounds I carry around with me. The habitual wounds that I think I need in order to survive in this world. The gash across my face that comes from thinking I'm better than other people. I need self-confidence, right? The wide-open artery of anger that is causing me to bleed to death. I need to get stuff done, right?

I get beat down during Holy Week...or rather I see my wounds rightly.

There aren't just 7 deadly sins. Every sin is lethal. How much poison will I try to swallow without dying?

I see my ugly wounds during Holy Week...I am appalled...and I find healing.

I see my sins for what they really are: thorns stabbed into my face and jagged shards of metal tearing into my back...but not my back.

This self-inflicted-self-reflection on all I've done wrong and all I've failed to do well, then turns to everything Jesus has done right and every sin that He avoided. True acknowledgement of my guilt allows me to grab hold of the righteousness Jesus offers.

Until I realize that I am Chief of Sinners, worst of all people, I can't be fully healed. When I only give my arm for Jesus to perform surgery on, he can't fix the gash on my face. The love of Jesus leads us to trust Him with our whole body. The prayer of the publican was answered by God, because he knew his sin, he repented, he turned from his sin and relied on God for mercy. His prayer can be translated, "God have mercy on me, the sinner." There is no one else. I stand naked before a holy God. Just me, the sinner - and Him, whose world is His footstool.

Thankfully God is not only all-powerful, He is also all-merciful. He NEVER abandons those who rely on Him. There is nothing you have done that can't be forgiven - that God can't wait to forgive. Just as you step before God, expose your worst side, and plead, "God save me!" - you realize Jesus is already standing next to you. When God looks at you, he sees his perfect son. He wants to embrace you as His perfect child. All that Christ Jesus did on this earth, His experiences during Holy Week, were done for YOU!! His blood covers you and me. We are truly blood brothers and sisters, members of God's family. We rest under the grace of God. You do not need to fear the surgeon that removes the cancer of sin, he is your brother.

I love Holy Week, for when I am weak, then I am strong.

Without knowing the depth and despair of my sin, I can't fully experience the joy of the resurrection.

Happy Easter!

A Prayer for Marriage

I found this prayer in my Bible. I haven't been praying it as often as I intended.

Please pray with me:

God, you have a perfect plan for our families. You gave us marriage so we could share your love with one most dear. You protect our children and provide for the strength of our society, through your gift of marriage. Please restore broken marriages. Help them honor you above all else and seek your face.

At His Door

"sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."

God's words to Cain, first murderer and hardened sinner, before he attacked his brother.

It's a battle. When you think you're standing firm, you show your weak spot. How easy it is to change our attitude and corresponding actions based on our sinful desires...and still think we're right with God.

In church...that's right, in church, where I am supposedly the perfect Christian man leading his family in worship to God...I sin. My heart lied to me, and I caught myself believing the lie.

Right before the first hymn, I hand one of my boys the bulletin to hang onto while I hold the hymnal. A very small task to help me as I try to serve him. But he won't hang onto it. First he tries to pass it off to his sister. Next, he tries to fold it in half so it will lay on the pew between himself and his sister...I grab it back from him. I don't know if he realized my attitude toward him changed, but it did. I held the hymnal right in front of myself instead of leaning it over so it would be between us. "If he's not going to help me, then I'm not going to help him."

Then it hits me, "This isn't what I want! My whole goal is to get him to worship our God with me. I'm trying to punish him. I'm trying to make him love me by withholding my love. What is wrong with me?"

Of course I know exactly what's wrong with me. I'm a sinner who has no idea how incredibly sinful he is. I'm a sinner who complains about all the stuff going wrong in my life without realizing I'm causing the problems. I'm a sinner that judges others based on their actions and myself based on my intentions. I'm a sinner who wants everyone to serve me and my "needs".

I'm a sinner...who doesn't have to be.

"Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."

Repent means "to turn". Knowing what God has done to save me, His great love for me, allows me to turn. No one truly turns without love. Why do we keep believing we have control over other people? Even our children? You can force someone to obey, but their heart will not turn. Why do I try to turn my children without love? Foolishness.

I leaned over to my boy and pointed to each word as I was singing. My wife had no idea I was struggling with this sin in church. And if she didn't know, I'm positive no one else noticed. But it was there, in that holy place where God has put His Name. Sin, crouching at my door. But also in that holy place, I heard exactly what I needed to hear,

"God, our heavenly Father, has been merciful to us and has given his only Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Therefore, as a called servant of Christ and by his authority, I forgive you all your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

And I said, "Amen!"