When Principles Collide

What do you do when 2 principles collide? Chose one? How about asking yourself the "And" question. Take the two things that you want (or don't want), then ask yourself, "How can I get this and that?"

Clear as mud?

Let's take an example. This is something that we've been doing for a long time that apparently, is not very common in the parenting world. We hold the following 2 principles:

(1) Do not waste food (i.e. eat what you make or take).
(2) Parents should instill good eating habits in their children. 

Now, principle (2) can be broken down into two sub-principles:
(2a) Help your children eat healthy (i.e. eat what you put on the table).
(2b) Do not make your children eat when they are not hungry (i.e. teach them to know their body's limits, don't overeat).

So most parents encourage their children to eat food on their plate, but when the child is declared full, the rest of the food gets thrown away. They wish they didn't have to throw food away, but they don't want to force their children to eat when they are not hungry. This is the typical either/or decision making process that we all fall into. But if you ask yourself the "And" question, your brain will start finding other solutions to follow both of your principles.

How can I encourage good eating habits in my kids and not waste food?

Our solution: Left-over containers!

We make each of our children eat every part of the meal that we give them, but when they are truly full (I leave this up to every parent's good judgement), we tell them to get a left-over container for the remainder of the food on their plate, and they will need to finish this food before the next meal or during a "left-overs" meal. Sound harsh? How else can you follow and teach both principles?

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
    for the ears of the wise seek it out. -Proverbs 18:15

Self-controlled and Alert!

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." -First Peter 5:18 

I went through this passage with the kids yesterday morning. The focus was on self-control. There had been numerous yelling outbursts from children the day before. Together we defined self-control. We came up with:

When we choose to do good instead of bad without mom or dad telling us.

I was impressed with the accuracy of this definition offered up by our children. Now, applying this truth is the hard part, but my wife tells me that our children showed marked improvement that day. That evening for supper, we practiced self-control at the kitchen table. We summed up the main expectation mom and dad have at the table is, respect. So we practiced showing mutual respect (something I read out of Crucial Conversations that day) by being self-controlled. It went well.

After supper I read Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers to the children. We were on Chapter 10: The Voice of Saruman. After reading a lengthy paragraph where J.R.R. Tolkien is describing the ill effects of Saruman's voice, I thought of a parallel to the Devil. His talk seems pleasant and wise, but it is full of lies. Tolkien describes how someone would have to be very alert in order to think for himself as Saruman is talking, otherwise, they would be overcome by his will and under his spell.

I mentioned the First Peter passage from our morning devotion, and how we need to be self-controlled and alert. Why alert? I also shared the following passage with the children, where Jesus is describing the Devil:
...for he is a liar, and the father of lies.

We talked about how God wants us to be alert, looking for things that are not right, not just going with what everyone else is doing. The Devil is constantly feeding us lies. Be alert! Be grounded in the truth of God's word. A lot of things sound good, but lead to destruction.

Then, during our Advent Day by Day devotional, we read of Jesus being tempted by the Devil for 40 days in the wilderness. I asked the children, "Can you imagine having to listen to Saruman's voice for 40 days without food?" I think it was a powerful point that God had aligned for our benefit.

Thank you Lord, for your gracious word of truth. Help us be self-controlled and alert. Amen.

A Week in the Life

I woke up today thinking about all the things I should have done. I had thoughts on blogging. I missed posting something on Thanksgiving blessings, Black Friday materialism, Cyber Monday continued materialism, and Giving Tuesday.

I also felt my smallness this morning. Lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling. Who am I, God, that you are mindful of me? One man in one bedroom in one apartment in one apartment building in one apartment complex on one street in one city... I could picture the Google map image above our home. How many people are even right here, in the same apartment complex. Why am I not so overjoyed with the gospel that I just have to share everything that I learn at church? Probably because I'm self-conscious, thinking too much about how I look and not enough about what God has done for me.

This last week was very relaxing in a "busy doing things I like" sort of way. I took off from work the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go deer hunting this year, so I wanted to take off from work to make sure we had enough family time during the week. I spent more time hunting than I had originally planned, but the Lord blessed us with 2 deer for our freezer (something that has not happened in a while). All day Thanksgiving was spent building relationships with hunting buddies that I haven't seen in a while. Then, I made it back in time to go Black Friday shopping with my wife and her sister. More for sister bonding time rather than finding really great deals on Christmas presents. Slept a little bit Friday morning and visited with my wife's family. Saturday was recovery day with in-home bible study/social in the evening. Later that evening, we went over to the home of  some church friends, who not only invited me to go hunting with them this year (which I did), but also helped me get a deer and processed it for me. They had a box of meat waiting for us that evening!

Sunday was great as usual. I love going to church, learning God's word along side a bunch of fellow sinners. People that are forgiven by God's grace and want to live better lives according to God's will, not so they can look better, but so they can serve their God better.

My wife and her mother attended an Advent by Candlelight service that evening, while me and her dad watched the kids (and the football game).

The week was full of blessings. Not just blessings to be thankful for, but tools to serve God. I wish we would start using the word "tools" instead of "blessings." We tend to keep blessings for ourselves, but we always use tools to accomplish something.

Now, after a week of exhilarating rejuvenation, I am remembering all the things that I had committed to before that week. I need to catch up on catechism lessons with my oldest daughter, I need to focus on Chairman duties, finish reading about 6 books, look for a house, finish getting Christmas presents, and blog...well, one down and a lifetime to go.

God, thank you for work. Help me work faithfully.