Goose Greed

So these geese have been landing in the corn field by our house for quite some time. I don't hunt geese, so it finally occurred to me to offer the hunting location to other hunters I know from church. Great intention.

One of my hunting friends got really excited, and said, "We totally have to do this." Well, I hadn't thought about me doing the hunting, but since I have goose hunted in the past, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

I decided to give it a go.

I got permission from the neighbor that weekend, and we started scheduling a time to hunt that worked for me and two friends. I was getting anxious, eyeing up those geese just sitting in the field. I was running calculations of how many I would have to shoot in order to offset the cost of the license (crazy expensive for some reason) and cost of ammunition (also not cheap). I was nervous that something would happen to screw up this awesome opportunity.

Then, it happened.

We scheduled a hunt for Sunday afternoon. That Saturday morning I woke up to gun shots.

What?! The neighbor didn't say anything about other goose hunters!

I threw on some clothes and walked quickly out to the back yard just in time to see the group of five guys fill their goose limit. I walked out to them, thinking, "What are they doing here? Do they have permission? Those are my geese! I can't believe this. I finally catch a break (a lot of worrying about if this was the right house to buy), and then it's taken away! Calm down. There is probably a good reason why they are here. I should be happy for them. There are lots of other geese out there. God can still bless me."

Well, they did have permission. They scouted the area, asked permission the Tuesday after I had asked, and they had their limit. They offered for me to hop in a blind right then, but I had procrastinated getting my licence until that afternoon (it took 45 minutes to get the licence and then at the end they overcharged me). We exchanged numbers in case we would want to coordinate a combined hunt. I told them when we were planning to get out, and they said they would be back Sunday morning. That wouldn't work for us, because we would want to go to church instead.

The Lord will provide, right? Yes...but not in the way that I want.

Sunday afternoon was a bust. We saw three smaller flocks, but none would get close enough.

I was quite distraught Sunday evening. I felt like throwing a tantrum. God said, "No." Why? So I could teach my children? Probably, but teach them what? I obviously still have to learn the lesson.

I ended up sharing my frustrations with my oldest daughter.

I could not get to sleep Sunday night, it was really bothering me. I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible and sat down at the computer. I hashed out a lot of stuff as you can see.

These are the highlights:

• Hunting should not be a priority for me. It never works to save us money, and this was my primary motivator.
• If I do hunt it will be to develop relationships with other guys, and I will be OK with getting nothing.
• I can't do everything. I first need to take care of what God has given me (family, housework, etc.).
• I already have tremendous blessings (my wife slept on the floor next to the computer because she wanted to support me, but didn't know how. Just her being there really meant a lot!)
• Always make time for God's word (I took this time to look up a question I had earlier in the week).

But the biggest one was:

• I did not begin this task with prayer!

I was reminded of Proverbs 16:25 "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." It was a no brainer for me to go shoot those geese, but it was for selfish gain, the essence of my sinful nature.

I had the wrong focus the whole time, even though I was telling myself all the right reasons in my head. My emotions tipped me off that something wasn't right. I needed to seek the truth. I needed to read God's word, and pray for His good will to be accomplished.

I did decide to hunt Tuesday morning with the guys, this time, for the right reasons. The night before, I found this on my pillow:

My daughter was looking at the situation from a more positive perspective.

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.

It's interesting that God lead us both to a verse in Proverbs 16. God is good.

We did get two geese on Tuesday, so we were able to praise God for prayers answered. He also blessed our fellowship together as we talked about our lives. It was a good day.

This past Sunday, the sermon was titled "Do you Really Want to be Rich?" based on Jesus' conversation with the rich young man in Mark 10. It was a really good sermon (as usual), but right as Pastor said, "What's really first?" I saw a flock of geese fly right passed the stained glass window directly behind Pastor.

Oh, God! Dagger to the heart! But it was good to be reminded again. I was trying to grab at too much, and not trusting Him to provide my daily bread. I keep trying to store up bread, invest bread, and do more to get more bread. Then it seems to mold in storage, dissolve in my hands, and be only a mirage.

Lord, please simply make me a willing servant, and grant me daily bread to sustain me.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.