Misplaced Compassion

I wrote this while I was on lunch today at work. I mainly wrote it for myself , so I could sort through some of my own thoughts, wrestling with some bad relationship history, trying to find ways to rule over my sin and foster a Christ-like love for my fellow human beings. Read it at your own peril...and if you suffered through this whole thing, please offer any suggestions you have in the comments.

I just had compassion for a lady bug who hitched a ride in my lunch. I shook it off onto the carpet by my office chair, but when I tried to kick it out of the way, I injured her. I felt bad. I didn't mean to hurt her. Why do I feel compassion for a bug right now? (Why am I calling it "her"?) I have smashed plenty of bugs in the course of my life. Is it because I have control over it? ...maybe not...bosses abuse employees, mothers violate their children's rights. No, it's not control.

I have compassion with people and things that I have a connection or a relationship. 

What was the connection? She was from my home? This could possibly have been the start, but when I looked down, I was aware that this was a creature that God has placed under me, so that I could manage it. I did something I did not intend. I injured her. I stopped to wonder if bugs feel pain? Then I felt really bad, and wanted to correct the situation. I do realize that it is just a bug with no eternal soul, so I decided to put it out of it's (assumed) misery. I stepped on it, just like I had hundreds of other bugs, but I still felt bad. I let myself feel what it felt, and so I felt a little of the death it died.

Why is it so hard for me to have compassion on other human beings? Why is it so difficult to put myself in their place? Is it because when God tells me, "Rule over...every living creature" I feel important, empowered, in control (reaction of my sinful pride), and when God tells me, "Love your neighbor as yourself" I feel weak, lowly, servitude? Both are reactions of my sinful pride, while my new man is trying to do what's right. One is joyful, the other is forced. Well, I guess the first one is not really joyful either. I don't like to work and I do get upset with our dog. I guess I just have a general lack of compassion. I find rude actions to be funny. But still, I did just have compassion on a bug.

God must be working. 

So why wouldn't I treat the crown of God's creation with greater compassion than lesser created things? Is it because I think they should know better? Is it because I think I am better?

Pride is the death of compassion. 

Most people are more compassionate with animals than with people. Is this just evidence of the pride of the human race? Then, in like measure, but at a different level, most people give more grace to their own pets than someone else's pets. Like we give our leadership results grace, while judging harshly the decision making ability of others (like the parable of the unmerciful servant). Sounds like an accusation against Christians, but these are rather worldly applications where I see complete atheists making similar harsh judgments.

Some of the best advice for canvassing, I got from my wife, who entrenches herself in God's word, "Love them so much that you would want to spend eternity with them." That means developing an open relationship like the one I started with my wife 12 years ago. By the grace of God, we both went into our relationship thinking, "No pretending. I'm just going to be who I am, and if they don't like me, then we aren't meant for each other." We've been married 11 years now, and yes, it has required changes in who we are, so that we can serve our spouse. It didn't happen all at once, but our close relationship has required us to admit when we are wrong, confess our dark secrets, forgive each other, and reflect the love of Christ to each other. Not easy, but worth it.

I've realized that all relationships are similar. My wife and I tried to spend as much time together as possible. We clung to each other. You love someone by wanting to spend all kinds of time with them. Fun time, down time, work time; different activities, different moods, different challenges. It doesn't matter as long as you have that person.

God seeks you like this. 

He compares His relationship with you like the perfect marriage (at least from His end). Good thing marriage isn't 50/50, because I can't even offer 0.0001. He goes the 100%, he pursues us to the ends of the earth, he wants to be with us, God, the creator of heaven and earth, wants to hang-out with YOU. Crazy. He loves YOU, no matter what you did, are doing, or will do. That is a secure marriage...unless you run away with somebody else. Who else would be so great as to take the place of God? Maybe your spouse, children, parents, or even a car, a house, toys, money, work...well pretty much anything you see. What we see often distracts us from what we can't see, the source of all these physical blessings, God. That's why we need to read about what we can't see. God took the time to tell us about himself, using human authors. He revealed himself, and they wrote. God wants us to take Him at His word. Like every good Father, he wants our trust, no matter what He says to us, no matter what He asks us to do or not do. He loves us like a perfect parent, spouse, and sibling. If we trust this, things just seem to fall into place (even the rough times when we really have to dig into His word and seek His will). If we doubt him, we drive a wedge in our relationship, and we lose a piece of His blessing. Just like a good father will withhold some special gifts from his children when he perceives that they have gotten greedy. He will help them learn to give to others first, before showering them with more blessings. We might be upset that God gave us an apple instead of the bucket of candy, but God knows how we work and what's best for us. Trust him. I'm not saying that all "misfortune" is due to lacking spiritual strength. God also lets his children shine as bright examples when we place our trust in him, even when all earthly things fade away. It's always for our good or the good of those around us. He also promises that we will not lose our reward for aiding God's purpose. Find joy in your service.

So...I started by talking about compassion. Where does this fit in? 

Wouldn't compassion naturally flow from this thought process? God loves you and has compassion on you. He seeks a relationship with you that is heavily steeped in compassion (we are completely lost sinners without His grace). Again, it goes back to my sinful nature, my pride gets in the way, my pride makes me forget, my pride focuses on the works of my hands, my accomplishments. But my pride either leads to arrogance or depression. When we can't see God, then there is only other people to compare ourselves with, and since we all have strengths and weaknesses, we either see ourselves as better or worse, and without a larger goal in mind, we shortsightedly focus on the things we see, the tasks at hand, and judge. It's not until we compare ourselves to a righteous God, that we fully realize our true condition, and it's not until we read the testimonies about Jesus, and the promises in the Old Testament that we realize that God loves us anyway. He still wants to be married to us despite everything that we've done to Him, despite all the other guys and girls we've slept with. He still seeks us out, through the work of his son, Jesus, our brother and Lord, to keep us in the family for ever.

Love your brothers and sisters for ever, just as God loves you.