Letting it go

I am very thankful for Time of Grace daily devotions. This latest devotion series is called Teach me to Pray.

Exactly what I needed to hear.

"Seeking God's righteousness means choosing to value your forgiveness of sins through the blood of Jesus as your most precious possession. When you have that, everything else that God thinks you need will come flowing into your life." April 11 (Based on Matthew 6:33)

"Every time you pray, you set something into motion. Every time you pray, something in the universe changes. You have never wasted a prayer in your life. Not a one falls to the ground unheard and unanswered. Your prayer talk makes you powerful and effective for God's work and your needs." April 12 (Based on James 5:16)

So April 12th I am humbled. I can't do it anymore, carrying the weight of it all. I take time to pray right after reading the devotion, right at my computer before getting ready for church. I don't remember what I said, but I remember laying it all out there. My sin, my honest assessment of my inability to achieve my desires, my misplaced priorities. Recognizing I am only one small part of God's master plan, but I am also incredibly thankful that He wants me to be a part of his plan. I let go. I stopped taking all responsibility for my results in life. I contented myself to be part of his plan, and to work faithfully with what I've been given.

On the way to church, a song reminded me how we are God's children. Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:15 I try to teach our children patience that I will provide. I try to teach them trust that everything will work out even if they don't see how it could be good for them. I try to give my children good things, but have to hold back because I see their hearts are not right to receive it. But it is absolutely awesome when our children simply trust that where we are going will be good. They hop in the car when we ask, and just go. Trusting. God wants me to trust him, just go with it. He's got it taken care of.

That same day, on the way back home from church, we saw an open house sign.

I had been pressuring myself to get our family out of an apartment and into "suitable" housing, while being fiscally responsible. A terrible burden in the Madison area. But now I had let it go.

We stopped on a whim. Expected what we've seen before: Nice house, but too much. Bad house, still too much. Ugly house, I want to take a shower after being inside.

We found a mediocre house. Definitely needs fixing up, but I think we can manage it. The land reminds me of home. Shows promise. The kids loved climbing on all the obstacles in the yard: hills, logs, and old foundations. We could have animals and a garden. We could show our children the value of hard work and the beauty of God's creation. God delivered an opportunity.

We researched, prayed, and slept on it. We compiled the offer on Monday. I did more research. We put in an offer this morning, I did more research, and we're waiting to hear back. I'm not sure if it's all going to work out financially, but I do know it's going to work out for our good. God is good. All the time.

Here is another big lesson I learned from the Monday devotion:

"When you pray, you are not filling out a grant request to a heavenly charitable foundation. You are talking to your Father. And he loves taking care of his children." April 13 (Based on Luke 11:1,2 and Matthew 6:9)

I often find myself trying to bargain with God like I know what is best and I just need to convince God to join my plan. How foolish! I find myself praying now, "Father, your will be done. Please glorify your name."

My selfishness still flares up more than I like to admit. But I hope I don't forget this awesome truth: It feels so good to be working for God...like we were made for it.