“What a wretched man I am!” Tarsus
I keep hearing my Father whisper, “My grace is sufficient
for you.”
Is this all I need? Aren’t I supposed to do something great?
“My power is made perfect in
weakness.”
But I can’t do anything good!
“No one does good, not even one.”
I’m worthless?…I want to be great!
“All people are like grass, and all
their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers
fall…”
What then is left for me?
“…the word of the Lord endures
forever.”
Then, what can I say? What can I do?
“Proclaim what the Lord has done.”
That’s it? That’s it? What about my name? I am ashamed of
the time you have had to pick me up. I look like a fool, a jerk, a coward. What
about being a prophet, a martyr, a saint, a pastor, an author, a generous
donor, a…
“Whoever can
be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much”
How little? Less than I have now? How can I manage on less?
What do I have to give up?
“Everything”
Everything? It hurts. I don’t want to let go. I like these
things, these habits, these desires. I desire so much, and accomplish so
little.
“You do not have because you do not
ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong
motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
No, I wouldn’t.
“You boast in your arrogant
schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought
to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”
Act on every good thought? Follow every rule I know? But
what if it doesn’t make sense? What if the law is wrong? What if it makes me
lose? Should I follow you to my destruction?
“I know the plans I have for
you…plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.”
Can I trust you?
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I am who I am. I am the same yesterday and today and forever. I am the Lord,
who makes you holy. I am the Lord your God. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the
Beginning and the End, the Almighty. I am the Lord, the compassionate and
gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and
faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving
wickedness, rebellion and sin. I am the Lamb of God who takes away the sin
of the world.
As for you, you were dead in your
transgressions and sins, but I have made you alive in Christ. I have saved you. I live in you by
the Spirit. I am the cornerstone, your firm foundation. You can do all things
through me who gives you strength. You are not your own; you were bought at a
price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
Forgive me Lord.
Help me overcome my unbelief!
Your servant
is listening.
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