How Rude!

So I get an email from UW-Platteville (my alma mater) saying they are preparing an alumni directory. They are going to post my current job title, address, and contact info; and I should call them to verify my information.

I'm thinking, "Great. One more thing to add to my list. They're always calling me for donations."

So on my way home from work, rushing to make it home in time to leave for our Lenten meal, I give 'em a call. I'm not even sure what this is for; I just want to make sure they don't say anything dumb.

I'm put on hold briefly before I speak with someone. Seams like a professional service they hired out to verify all their alumni records. I'm annoyed.

She asks, "How are you today?"

I give a cold, "Good." I resist adding the customary, "and how are you doing today?" to show the extent of my annoyance at this inconvenience in my life.

There was a brief pause where I'm sure she was expecting to respond with a chipper, "I'm doing well, thanks for asking."

I think to myself, "Wow, I'm kind of being a jerk. God doesn't want me to be this way." So I loosened up a bit. And I do mean a bit. I was still very matter a fact and straight to the point. She tried to sell me on buying a special anniversary ultra-custom shiny directory book for only two payments of $49.99, or the softcover version for $20 cheaper, or just a CD version for I don't know how much. I was done. I managed to say a fairly pleasant goodbye and ended the call.

During the conversation, she had said I could respond to an email to include a picture and a brief description of what I had been doing since graduation. I got the thought, "Hey. Maybe I can put a plug in for the pregnancy care ministry that I'm involved in...wait, I wasn't very Christ-like on that phone call. I wonder if she will read my description, and be like, 'Really? That guy was a Christian. He was a jerk on the phone.'"

I turned the corner. Almost home. I had to blurt out in prayer, "Oh God! I'm sorry for being a jerk. I have sinned against you. Forgive me."

It hurts to realize that I didn't just offend someone, but I had offended the God who put his only son through hell on earth to bring me safely home to heaven. I had been cold to my brother, Christ, who paid the total debt that I keep racking up throughout my life. I had pushed the Holy Spirit of my God out of my heart, and said to Him, "You wait outside while I take care of this my way."

What had I done? I failed to realize that another crown of God's creation, a fellow human being, was on the other end of that call. I forgot that I was a redeemed sinner who is happy to serve others without consideration of payback. I failed to remember that others do not have the same hope of heaven and joy of forgiveness that I have personally experienced through Christ.

That night I confessed my sin again to God in church, where He showed me a deeper understanding of my selfish sin earlier that day. I don't remember my exact words. It was one of those times where it feels like the Spirit takes over with groans that human words cannot express.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." - Philippians 1:9-11

Paul's prayer is my prayer.